“There will never be another you…Oh…Never be another you…”

(Chris POV)

 

They say you only get two or three real loves in your life. I thought about that sayin all the time now. I had had my two so far. So I didn’t quite understand or truly want to accept this feelin that had been slowly creepin up in my heart. I hadn’t felt these types of butterflies since…Since I was 13. The day I saw Sweets walk across that basketball court with Shay. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. So these feelins I was havin…Scared the hell out of me! It seemed like I had loved Sweets sooo long that nobody had ever been able to make me feel almost exactly like she did. Rue was Cool…Fun…Laidback…Funny…Open to anythin. And most importantly NO DRAMA! She was sexy…smart and best of all a REGULAR GIRL! I didn’t have to worry bout egos or ulterior motives…She just liked to hang with me and that was what I had been lookin for ever since Sweets. But deep down I was still stuck. My heart wouldn’t let go of what me and Sweets had. I had never pictured my life without her…Never wanted to. I never believed anybody could compare. But now I felt like I was havin déjà vu! So before I could move forward with Rue…I had to resolve things with Sweets. I had to see if we were truly over cause in my heart….We could never be done.

GOTTA FIND HER

When Sweets said she was leavin I couldn’t even accept the thought. I just figured it was one of her upset moments and she would eventually come around. But no. After two weeks of tryin to get a hold of her and her even bein MIA for Thanksgivin..I began to worry. No call backs…No texts…No sightins…It was like she DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR!  After the third week of blewin her up…She changed her number. DAMN! I went to Dance 1: LA and Shaw told me she sold the studio and the ones in Miami and NY TOO! I went by her spots in LA…Gone…Hit up everyone of her friends, fam, and business partners I had numbers to…Nobody talked to her…NOT EVEN MIJO OR JANINA! I was so desperate that I even flew to her houses in Miami and NY…All Gone! I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT! I asked Kev, Bow, Xena, Seven and Joelle if they had heard from her…Cause I knew she owned their places and they said SHE HAD GAVE THEM TO THEM FREE AND CLEAR! WHAT THE FUCK??? I was BEYOND frustrated and SCARED NOW! I knew that only left her studios and houses in ATL and VA! So I got a hold of Momma to see she if she had seen her back home or talked to her…Nothin! NO WAY…UH UH! She didn’t go A DAY WITHOUT TALKIN TO MY MOMMA! And that made Momma worry too. So now I was sick. My last stitch effort was Atlanta. So off I went! I flew out there at the beginnin of December…and after a month of searchin I was definitely ready to give up and file a missin persons report! Everybody was worried. We had business for CBE…F.A.M.E comin up…Videos to handle….Nothin was makin since! How could she just walk away from that? I had asked Mijo if he still had Randa’s number and he didn’t. Shit! So I had to go in blind!  When I pulled up to her place her Lambo and another car were in the driveway. I was both RELEIVED AND PISSED! All this time I had been lookin for her and HER ASS WAS RIGHT IN ATLANTA!

LET ME EXPLAIN

When I got to the door I blew out a deep sigh…I just wanted to see her face…Make sure she was alright. I needed to apologize and explain. I couldn’t believe how much my heart had me searchin for her like I needed her to LIVE…But I did. As I went to push the doorbell I felt a wave of nervousness wash over me. WHAT IF SHE DON’T WANT TO SEE ME? WHAT IF SHE SLAMS THE DOOR IN MY FACE?  But I shook it off…I couldn’t let it deter me…I had already came too far. So I pushed it.

HERE WE GO

I sat there for what seemed like eternity. And when the door swung open. MY WORLD ENDED. I stood there lookin at a familiar face…HE looked at me with eyes of PURE SHOCK. She had did it…AGAIN! This time it wasn’t TREY…But yet another person I considered a HOMIE! That same feelin of FIRE and HURT came back and I HAD TO GET AWAY! I couldn’t even speak as HE went to open his mouth…I just turned away quickly and got back in my car. I SPED OFF SO FAST YOU COULD HEAR MY TIRES SPIN! I felt like my heart had been RIPPED OPEN! She had severed all ties so she could BE WITH HIM? I was confused…I was angry…Mostly angry at MYSELF! I never wanted it to be this way….I never wanted to let go of her…But she was now FORCIN ME.

POINT TAKEN!

8 ½ years I had loved this woman…Not sure if it would EVER go away. I had made so many mistakes that I knew it was IMMPOSSIBLE to fix them all at this point. So I had to do it…I had to do the unthinkable…She was now gone….I HAD TO LET HER GO! As I drove to my hotel room…A calm set over me. I even began to smile…I had always wanted to see her happy…So as long as she was HAPPY….I was gonna let MY DIAMOND SHINE! Even if it was without me….She deserved it. And As I sat there in the car and the track that I had just finshed for her played. All I could do was say it out loud…

“Goodbye Sweets.”

There will never be Another You…

“You’re a breath of fresh air…I need you without you I can’t live…Your in cahoots with my heart…”

 (SWEETS POV)

Just the feelin of his lips against my skin…The movement of his hands on my body were enough to make my head explode…I needed him…I wanted him more than anythin in the world at that moment. His kisses were like a drug and I didn’t want to be sober. As he hovered over me lookin me in my eyes…The world seemed to disappear around us…All the hurt…Gone…All the emptiness…Gone. I was now bein filled with PURE LOVE. No conditions…No terms…No games…Just LOVE. As his sweat dripped down on to me and he hit all the places he knew inside of me like a symphony….My body sung back to him in perfect harmony. Only matched by our moans and screams. He took his time…no roughness…Just deep slow strokes that made me dig my nails into his back and call out to GOD! The deeper he went the more a called out…Every stroke emphasizin his love for me. How he moved his hips…up and down and around I thought I could pass out from the ecstasy and pain that felt so good. He was makin love to me. I NEEDED this…He NEEDED this…We NEEDED this…As his breathin became ragged and kisses became deeper…I saw him pull back and with tears in his eyes…

“Don’t leave…Me…please.”He said quietly as MONSTA began to flex. “I need…y-you…Say you’ll al –waysss be mine.”

I couldn’t help but feel the tears form…As he went deeper makin me yell out.

“Your num-ber one….You her-re me!” He said as he leaned his head on mine as he tried to keep control. “Say…it…Sa-y you’ll alw-ayss be mine…”

I searched his eyes as his tears fell onto my cheeks…And my heart spoke.

“Al-ways…” Was all I could say breathlessly and grabbin on to him tighter as my tears began to fall.

He kissed me deep as I tried to yell out…I felt the strongest sensation shoot from my toes up my legs to my spine. He moved up in me one last time and we both EXPLODED…Together.

LOVE….

When I woke up the next mornin with his arms wrapped around me tight…I knew somethin was definitely different about last night. I felt different inside. My heart didn’t feel heavy…I didn’t feel like I wanted to cry. I felt like somethin had been put back together and I was whole from the inside out. It was an almost erry inner calm that I was somehow ok with. I looked at him snorin so softly…I admired the tatts across the top of his chest…I traced my finger across one of the roses of the two he had just add to his piece. I couldn’t help but smile because last night he had told me that they were Me and Cheyanne… Just like our matchin 3 stars. He said the reason he got the roses was because everyone believed his 3 star tatt was for Rob…Which wasn’t true…So he got me and Cheyanne our own that nobody could say they were for anybody else. It made me cry. Just knowin that he wanted to represent his “FAMILY” as he said…Made me feel treasured. As far as I knew none of his other tatts were for anybody he had been with but me…I was really NUMBER ONE.

JUST BUSINESS

Three weeks later I had to fly out to NY to meet with Rob. I will admit I was not lookin forward to talkin to the woman involved with almost single handedly DESTROYIN the man I loved. But I had meditated on it. I had to put the anger and frustration I had felt all these years for her behind me…I needed MY OWN CLOSURE. I had questions…I needed them answered. Then and only then…Would I be able to let go. I had heard that she was now “INVOLVED” with Drake and wanted to have him featured on our song “What’s My Name?” Now Ester felt good about it.  But I had my own opinions about that. Chris decided to stay in LA cause he had rehearsals for an up comin show in Jamaica with Usher. So Kevin said he would fly out with me to help keep me calm.

When we arrived at the rooftop party  Polow was throwin…I was ready for anythin. It helped that Kev was there only cause I didn’t want to walk in alone. Even though I had a sneaky suspicion that Chris is the one who encouraged him to insist on goin with me in the first place. What Chris FAILED to realize was Kevin couldn’t stop me if I needed to CHECK THAT BITCH…POINT BLANK PERIOD! But I was gonna hear her out and get my questions answered.

“HEEEY SWEETS!” Polow said givin me a hug and handin me a champagne glass.

 “Hey Polow.” I said takin the glass as he looked over at Kevin.

“I’m glad you made it…Didn’t know you was…uh bringin a friend.” He emphasized and raised his eyebrow at Kevin.

“Polow this Kevin…Kevin Mccall…Chris’s artist.” I reminded him.

He looked at him for a few seconds an then it dawned on him.

“OH SHIT…Yea…Yea…You that Dueces…Tyson look a like muthafucka!” He said in his normally blunt way as he dapped him “You got some dope shit man!”

“Uh thanks man…I’m a big fan of your stuff.” Kev said laughin lightly.

“Well you keep doin your thing…I heard some of you and Chris’s mixtape shit…Crazy!” Polow said.

“Preciate it…Comin from you that’s wild.” Kev said shocked.

“Aw man I give props where props is due…We gonna have to exchange contacts cause I might have some shit for you.” Polow said as Ester walked over.

“Word! Yea…Yea…We can do that.” Kev said now excited.

“HEEEEYY NIGGAS WHAT YA’LL DOIN!” Ester screamed in her country accent!

“Hey E!” I said huggin her.

“You ready to party girl? I see you dressed to kill and Ooo you got you a new man girl?” She said eyein Kevin and gettin distracted.

OH MY GOD!

“No…This is Kevin remember?” I said refreshin her memory.

“OOOOOH yea….Yea you that chocolate sexy thang from Chris’s video.” She said eyein him still.

WOW

“Damn…Guilty I guess.” Kev said laughin nervously.

“Oh you guilty alright… Sexy thang you…You gone take yo shirt off tonight cause-“

“Ester!” I said interruptin the verbal sex she was havin with him!

“What…Oh…My fault…I just be sayin shit…So ya’ll seen Rih yet?” Ester said lookin at Polow.

“Nah she said she on her way.” Polow said laughin and shakin his head at her.

“Ok cool…Cool…Welp I’m gonna go get me a drink…Polow you gonna take me to yo stash of Ace I know you got some in here!” She said

“You always tryin to drink my expensive shit…I’m takin it out yo check!” Polow joked.

“Shit I got you pimp…We bout to get paid!” She said laughin. “Oh and nice meetin you Kevin….If she don’t hit that give me a call!” She winked.

WHAT?… CRAZY ASS!

“Oh my God…” I said coverin my face.

“Wow.” Was all he said as he busted out laughin.

“Excuse her lets go.” I said grabbin his hand.

After 45 minutes of hangin out and a couple more drinks…Me and Kev were havin a blast dancin and singin to the music. I had almost forgot why I was there when I saw HER come in. I watched her mingle a while and then I saw her speak to Polow and they both looked in my direction. I saw her say somethin else and then come towards my direction. I swear as she got closer I said a silent prayer to pleeease not let MOMMI come out in me and let me handle this in mature manner.

“Hey Sweets…How you been girl?” She said like we were old friends that talked all the time.

HUH?

“Been good…Been real good…and you?” I asked cordially.

“Oh you know…The usual…So I wanted to talk to you for a minute…That cool?” She said gettin to the point.

“Sure…um.” I said lookin over at Kevin who was now talkin to some girl.

SOME HELP YOU ARE!

“Ok let’s go.” She said reachin her hand out to me.

WHAT THE HELL???

I didn’t mean to…But I looked at her hand like it had SHIT ON IT! I mean HELLO WE ARE NOT FRIENDS! FUCK I LOOK LIKE?? I watched her look at my face and then put her hand back down shyly. And it took everythin in me not to laugh!

BITCH YOU THOUGHT!

“Okaaay…Guess that would be too soon.” She laughed lightly.

“Uh yea.” I said bluntly.

“My fault.” She said cooly. “Ok then follow me.”

I followed her to the inside of Polow’s loft. We ended up in an empty room and she closed the door. I don’t know why but I felt like I needed that door OPEN! Just in case I needed WITNESSES!

SO SERIOUS!

“So.” She said sittin on the bed as I sat on the chair away from her.

“So.” I said starin at her.

“Um…Look I know this is awkward…But I really felt like I wanted to get everythin out on the table and really close the door to the issues we have had from the past.” She said nervously.

Hmph…

“So I don’t know where to start but if that’s cool…I’m ready for it.” She finshed and waited.

Now I knew what I wanted to ask her…I just wasn’t sure I was actually ready for the answers. Cause if the bitch lied about any of it…I was pullin out of the project…PERIOD!

“Ok…Well there is a lot I would like to know…and from there we can see where this goes.” I said directly.

“Ok….Shoot.” She said sittin back on the bed.

“Did you ever feel bad knowin that me and Chris were together and you were sleepin with him behind my back?” I fired with no hesitation.

I guess the mention of his name and that situation threw her off guard and I saw her whole demeanor change. I saw her eyes soften but her face remained neutral.

“Honestly…At the time I didn’t give a fuck.” She said with slight emotion in her voice. “But lookin back on it now…I was dead wrong…and for that I am sorry…No bullshit.”

Mm hmm…

“So why didn’t you leave it alone or Not fuck with him.”I fired.

She began to shift uncomfortably…Pushin her now red hair off her shoulder and rubbin her neck.

“Because I…I had already fell for…him.” She said chosin her words. “He and I were drawn to each other…We were in love.”

Just hearin those words ignited somethin inside me…Not sure if it was my anger or my sheer belief that NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY COULD LOVE THAT MAN AS MUCH AS ME EXCEPT HIS MAMA… I felt like I was bein intruded upon…AGAIN! AND THAT’S A PROBLEM!

But I aint done yet…

“Did he come see you while I was in the hospital after I lost our baby?” I continued.

“Yes.” She said bluntly but quietly.

“So you knew I was pregnant…had lost the baby and you still wanted him to come see you?” I said with venom in my voice.

She took in a deep breath and let it out…She…adjusted herself uncomfortably on the bed and began again.

“Yes I knew you were pregnant…He told me when you guys found out for sure. I will admit I was soooo jealous that you were goin to be the mother of his first child…But then he called me and he told me you had lost it and he was cryin…I wanted to comfort him so I asked him to come to me.” She said swallowin back tears but keepin a stone face.

I fuckin hate you…

“And you didn’t think that was fucked up?” I said coldly tryin to control the flames that were burnin now.

“Sweets like I told you…I didn’t care about a lot of shit outside of my love for him at that time…I was stupid but you know what I have learned that karma is a bitch…And I will have to deal with my decisions…And thats why I wanted us to have this talk…I am truly truly sorry for any hurt I caused you.” She said softenin some.

Uh…Uh not good enough…

“One more thing.” I said as she finally looked back at me.

“Ok.” She said.

“Why didn’t you tell the whole story?” I said waitin.

“Whole story about what?” She said adjustin her dress nervously.

“Why didn’t you tell the world that you hit him…A LOT!” I fired. “Why you let him look like he was some monster when you had problems too? Huh?” I said feelin the flames grow larger.

I saw her eyes shoot up at me and they were a mixture of hurt and slight anger.

 BITCH DON’T YOU TRY IT!

“I had to look out for me…This happened to me…He made his choice that night…What happened before that had nothin to do with what he chose to do. I worry about him constantly and I don’t think its fair that he is made out to be a monster…but I got my own life…My own pain…My own loss….I get shitted on too…Fuck that.” She said as her face grew cold.

“Well maybe if you would have got help too…You wouldn’t feel as guilty as you do…Instead you chose to run him over…That was your choice.” I said standin up. “And until you admit to yourself that you had a fault in the whole situation too…Your goin to remain unhappy for along time…Yes he was dead wrong but you were dead wrong too.”

“Your still in love with him…” She said almost above a whisper and lookin down.

“Why do you say that?” I said thrown off.

“Because I see it…I see your love for him…It’s even stronger than it used to be…You still want to protect him from the…World.” She said pushin her red hair out of her now teary eyes.

“That’s what TRUE love does…Your will be willin to risk your own life and gain…to make sure the one you love is not harmed.” I said makin my point.

“You know I still love him so much…I just…We can’t so I have to bury that.” She said as her voice began to shake.

“If you really loved him…You wouldn’t have kicked him while he was down.”  I said walkin to the door. “You gonna have to admit the the truth one day…When you do that you’ll find peace.”

I said to her and walkin out the room. I felt like I made my points and I got my answers…Even though I still was irked ….I was at peace. The big redhead monster was no longer goin to be a factor in my life….Now let’s get this money.

 

NOW WHERE IS KEVIN?

When we finally finished up recordin the songs…S&M, Fading and What’s My Name…Without Drake. Two weeks had gone by and it was now the middle of September. Me and Rob had actually come to a cool place and it was actually SURREAL AS FUCK to be talkin to her on the phone, havin drinks and just chillin. I admit it was super hard for me to have a conversation with Chris and have to censor myself…because well I wasn’t tryin to stir up anything that would create and issue. He seemed happy for me tho…Just told me he missed me A LOT! He told me that he had met someone a while ago and they had startin talkin again. I know what your thinkin…HERE WE GO…SOME NEW CHICK!! I know but we had an understandin…After that night we shared it was like we were in different space with each other. I accepted that he was gonna continue datin and so was I…We knew that the best thing for us right now was to continue repairin the trust that had been lost between us…And at the end of the day we just wanted to see each other happy. So yea…I was ok with him datin some one new. Plus he had told me so much about her I couldn’t wait to meet this Ms. Kae! She seemed so cool.

By November we hard at work finishin up Chris’s third mixtape that he decided to name it IN MY ZONE 2. By the middle of November we had been spendin more time in VA  together so he could finish up the rest of his community service and classes. So we mostly used his studio for the rest of the project. Then one night he said he wanted me to meet somebody…

“Aye I got somebody I want you to meet.” He said nervously as he came to my room at his house.

“Who?” I said confused and typin on my Mac.

“Just come with me I need to see what you think.” He said scratchin the side of his head.

“Chris…I aint got time for one of your jokes I got paperwork to finish…You know I’m tryin to sell these properties!” I said wrinkling my nose.

“Man…Just come it will only take a minute…I need your opinion.” He said sincerely.

“Ch….Dammit negro…She betta be a bad bitch or Imma punch you in your balls!” I said gettin out the bed.

“HA! You always threaten to punch me in the balls…You just mean to them.” He said laughin as I followed him to his room.

“Shit betta hope next time I don’t bite em!” I said pushin him.

“Mmm that might can be arranged just not too hard you know…they sensitive.” He grabbin me from behind kissin my neck and walkin me to the door then stoppin.

“Whatever…What you doin?” I said as he stood in front of me.

“Hol’up…I’ll be right back.” He said makin a goofy face and then goin in the room and closin the door.

“What?” I said to myself out loud as I stood there.

WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOIN?

After 5 minutes he opened the door slowly.

“Ok…You ready?” He said smilin.

“Just move.” I said pushin the door open.

When I walked in his Mac was sittin on the bed so I walked over. He slowly followed me and when I climbed up to get a better view…MY HEART STOPPED! I immediately covered my mouth and so did SHE!

“Rue Rue?” I finally said behind my hand.

“Honey?” She said almost at the same time as me.

I immediately looked up at him who was now standin by the bed lookin at me with the most confused face I had every seen. I looked back at her and she was now lookin like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Wait ya’ll know each other?” He finally said climbin into the bed next to me.

We both looked at each other and started laughin! Chris had no idea that I had known Karrueche since elementary. I was a year older than her but I of course hung with Seiko… and Karrueche was apart of her crew! WHAT A SMALL WORLD! And it had just got smaller cause…

“Um yea…That’s my girlfriend.” Rueche said laughin.

“What?” Chris said even more confused as we both laughed.

“Oh my God…Is this the Kae you been talkin about?” I finally asked him.

“Yea…What the fuck is goin on right now Sweets?” He said sittin back and blushin.

Me and Rueche laughed harder as he sat there confused and uncomfortable. I knew I had to tell him the truth.

“Sweets?….You call her Sweets?” Rueche said into the camera. “Where’d he go?”

“I’m right here….What the fuck…Yea!” He said runnin his hands down his face.

“Oh my God…And he been callin you Kae all this time…He never said Karrueche!” I said pokin him in his side to try and lighten his mood.

“He been talkin bout his Bestfriend Sweets and I only know you as Honey or Helena like what are the chances!”

“Bestfriend Huh?” I said lookin over at him.

WOW

“Hey…it’s the truth.” He said shruggin his shoulders as I could see his mind turnin.

“Well I hope he didn’t say I was a crazy!” I said bumpin him as he still was uncomfortable.

“Nooo…He said you guys were bestfriends and had a long history and that he loved you very very much…I actually thought he as lyin!” She said laughin. “ I thought you were a girlfriend.”

“You thought I was lyin?” He said sittin up.

“I mean come on you know that would be hard for anybody to believe…Everybody knows who“Chris Brown’s friends” are!” I interjected.

“EXACTLY!” Rueche said laughin again.

“Oh my god this is wild…But wait hol’up you said she was your girlfriend? Ya’ll fucked around?” He said bluntly and looked back and forth at us.

UH YEA!

“You wanna tell’em?” She asked raising her eyebrow.

“Uh yeah….See remember when I told you bout me and Seiko aloooong time ago.” I started.

“She was the first girl I was ever with….SHE POPPED A NIGGA’S CHERRY!” Rueche blurted out laughin even harder.

DAMN…OK…YEA!

Chris’s mouth dropped. I never told him who the other girl was that me and Seiko had that threesome with and well to me it wasn’t important at the time!

But there’s more…

“Yea and remember the girl I told you I was seein a few months back and we broke up and I told you I loved her?” I asked him as he tried to take it all in.

“Noooo.” He said coverin his mouth.

“Awww” Rueche said into the camera. “I love you too.”

Yea shit happens…

“Oh my fuckin God…Sweets how in the hell does this shit keep happenin?” He said lookin over at me with his hand still over his mouth.

YOU TELL ME!

“We got good taste I guess!” I said laughin.

Truthfully it didn’t bother me this time cause it was totally a coincidence unlike DRAYA AND DEANNA….He couldn’t have known. Plus he said he hadn’t done anythin with her so there was nothin I could be mad about…SHIT HAPPENS!

“So wait…You guys ever?” Rueche finally asked.

“He is the B. I told you about.” I confessed to her finally.

I watched her as she sat up on her bed in shock. I knew she knew then what and who he was to me. I had told her all about Our past…Our love…Cheyanne…Me workin with him for years…Our deep connection…I just never told her his real name. She knew Chris was the one who had my HEART and I HAD HIS.

“Oh my god.” She said quietly and covered her mouth.

I could tell I had delivered some obvious GAME CHANGIN news…Because they both sat there almost lost in there thoughts. Now I wanted to know what the hell was goin on!

I MEAN YA’LL NOT FUCKIN…RIGHT?

“Why ya’ll quiet…What ya’ll fucked already or somethin?” I said now lookin back and forth between them and laughin nervously.

“Aye look I’mma let ya’ll talk…I gotta…I gotta go.” She said nervously.

HOLD UP!

“Wait…Why you gotta go…Chris what’s up?” I asked him just then she disconnected the Skype.

“Shiiiiit!” Chris finally said and got up out the bed.

I was confused now.

“What the hell is up? I thought you said you hadn’t done anythin with her and you were just gettin to know her?” I fired at him.

I saw him run his hands over his face again. And then look at me and put his head down.

YOU LIED

“Chris…What the hell?” I finally said gettin out the bed.

“Man I WAS gettin to know her….But we…have got it in quite a few times…How was I supposed to know that she was the one you told me about!” He said frustrated.

OH WOW

“But we been fuckin around since August!” I fired.

“I Know…But.” He stopped.

“You said we were gonna be straight up with each other! That’s the only reason I wasn’t trippin about you talkin to her.” I said pushin past him and walkin down the hallway as he followed.

“All this shit is crazy ok! I didn’t know…” I he pleaded.

“But you didn’t say you were fuckin her either!” I said goin in my room and closin my Mac. “You just always gotta have your cake and eat it too!”

TIRED OF THIS!

It wasn’t so much as the fact that it was Karrueche…Although that did irk me now cause I did have feelins for her…But it was the fact that we were supposed to be bein honest about everythin…Yes we were seein other people but WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL EACH OTHER BEFORE WE SLEPT WITH ANYBODY ELSE! So we didn’t complicate things by continin to sleep each other! I know…I know…It was just a mess…I knew I shouldn’t have agreed…But it was workin out fine til NOW!

 FUUUCK!

“Sweets what are you doin?” He said as I grabbed my suitcase out the closet.

“Chris look…We said we would end it when we slept with someone else…So this is it…It was cool while it lasted…And Rueche…She is a cool chick…You have my blessin…and Im out!” I said suddenly havin a queasy feelin in my stomach.

“But Sweets wait…It aint even serious with me and her yet…I told you I’m still gettin to know her!” He tried to explain.

I THINK YOU KNOW HER DAMN WELL NOW!

“Well you can finish…I’m not even mad I just am honerin what we agreed on…No complications remember!” I said grabbin my backpack, keys and rollin my suitcase past him out the door.

“So you just gonna leave me?” He asked as I got to the hallway.

“Im not leavin you…We just cant-“ I stopped cause I suddenly felt like everythin I had ate was about to come up.

EWWW

“You ok?” He asked concerned.

I took a minute and tried to calm the feelin down…I knew all of this was stressin me the fuck out! After the feelin past. I turned and kept walkin down the stairs.

“Sweets…It ain’t gotta be like this…” He said still followin after me as I got to my Benz.

I opened my door and threw my stuff inside…I took one long look at him and saw the fear in his eyes. He knew this was my last try…We tried it…It was fun…But it was now over.

“Goodbye Chris.”

 

Time to see what life had for me…

“You can let out all of your aggression…Put it all on me like…I hate you…You aint shit but I love you…Don’t nobody else make me mad as you…But when we makin up tho…I’m glad it’s you..”

(Chris POV)

 

I was sick. I couldn’t believe Mommi was actually gone. I tried my hardest to hide my pain from Sweets and stay strong for her and Momma. Momma and Mommi were so close and she was takin it just as hard. It definitely wasn’t easy tryin to get back to normal but I had the TAKERS premiere to go to in LA so I really didn’t have a choice. What I did know was I wasn’t in the mood to be interviewed or walk that DAMN RED CARPET….I just wanted to show up…Watch the movie with Sweets and Mommi in spirit then BOUNCE! And that’s exactly what I did. I knew TEAM BREEZY wanted to see me cause that’s all the were talkin about on Twitter plus they were streamin it live so I OWED IT TO THEM to show up. I was so thankful to them for showin me so much love and patiently waitin through all my bullshit for 2 years for it.

 Durin the movie I held Sweets hand tight…I knew she was still in pain but she was a trooper and came out anyway. I was always AMAZED by her strength. She had been through everythin TRAGIC imaginable but was still here…Still just as strong and beautiful as the day I first met her 8 years ago. I would look at her and feel like if she could deal with EVERYTHIN she had then there was NO EXCUSE for me not to get through my shit! I was just grateful that she was there for me and that’s what I would ALWAYS do for her…That much I promised Mommi.

Mommi…

I missed our conversations already…She never failed to make me laugh…Even on my darkest days it seemed as soon as I heard “Hey Bebeh I got someting to tell yuh!” on the other end of my phone…I couldn’t help but smile cause I knew she was about to say somethin CRAZY! And it never failed by the middle of our conversation I had forgotten what I was even down about in the first place! Sweets was so much like her… Well except for the dirty jokes part…But her CRAZY SIDE! Yea she got that from Mommi. Man she would check a bitch QUICK! I would be nervous as hell tell her she couldn’t have one of my ex’s numbers…Hell til she passed she STILL HAD WORDS FOR ROB! YIKES! Even when I told her I was over all that…She said she didn’t care she just wanted to SLAP her one good time and CUSS her out for turnin her back on me! OH MY GOD! I knew when Rob came up it was time to get off the phone! HAHA! She was just a beautiful and protective soul….CRAZY but sincere and I really loved her just as much as Momma. I treasured all the things she would teach me about her life and life in general. I always told her that I was gonna settle down with Sweets one day…Give Sweets that last name and them grandbabies Mommi want from me so much! YEA SWEETS WAS GONNA BE MRS. BREEZY AND HAVE ALL MY BABIES! HA! I just never told Sweets that cause well…I was actually afraid that that wouldn’t happen and I didn’t want to make her no more promises that I would end up breakin…So I kept that between me and Mommi.

 Mommi was my angel now…And I was gonna take care of her Bebeh…Always!

 

PAYBACK BIIITCH!

A week after the premiere I was back in LA and still recordin…Of course…And I heard that The homie Rob wanted to talk to me bout the whole Jasmine thing…Honestly I didn’t give a fuck cause she was still on my phone daily TRYIN TO GET BACK WITH A NIGGA! PSSH…FUCK I LOOK LIKE? So when I finally talk to him he invited me and the homies to come chill with him at his condo. At first I wasn’t gonna do it but Jas had sent me a text that mornin talmbout she never fucked with him and the media was makin it out to be more than it was…My point was YA ASS STILL LYIN CAUSE YOU HAD YA ASS IN VEGAS…NOT MIAMI! You can’t make that out more than it was THERE WAS PICS TO PROVE IT! So I said Self…Lets end this once and for all and Self said PAYBACK BIIITCH! LEGGO! HA! So I went.

 Once me, Tey and Mijo all got there…Me and Rob chopped it up and he immediately let me know the WHOLE SCOOP! And my conclusion was RIGHT! She had been talkin to that nigga on the low the whole time! Talmbout me and her were JUST FRIENDS! LIKE OK…AIGHT…AWESOME! So then Tey was so pissed bout Jas’s LIES she had an idea to tweet a pic of all of us just to let Jas know yea BITCH HE THE HOMIE AND I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU NOW! I thought it was BRILLIANT! HA! So we posted ‘em. Not even 5 minutes later my phone was BLOWIN UP! All the homies was goin NUTS!  TEAM BREEZY was roastin her and JAS WAS HAVIN A FIT! HAHAHA! By the end of the night she in all the blogs ON FULL BLAST! Payback’s a bitch… And I’m done.

OVER IT

By the middle of August…Sweets was still tryin to bring herself back around….She couldn’t bring herself to stay in Atlanta. So she mostly spent her days at her beach house here in Cali. She had let Kev get her condo cause it was a two bedroom and he needed one for Jenisis. I didn’t like her bein all the way in Malibu especially dealin with all this. But Xena and her daughter Zoey had moved in so that Sweets wouldn’t be alone most of the day. She had Nina, Tae and now Seiko comin to keep her company too so I was happy for that. Momma also called her daily just to make sure she was alright. But Sweets told me it was hard talkin to Momma cause Momma would try and be strong but she was still hurtin too. Damn. It just killed me that I couldn’t FIX THIS for everybody. But mostly I just wanted to make Sweets whole again…It was really fuckin with me. I tried not to be overprotective and crowd her…But I also didn’t want her to feel like I was stayin away. At first she didn’t want me to come out there then she started havin her nightmares again and so most nights or mornins when I got out the studio or club appearance if she called I would make the long drive out there to stay with her.

Just seein her go through the nightmares and shit all over again was hard. I mean it seemed like every time she would get rid of them somethin would happen and everythin would come FLOODIN back. But I knew…I knew how that shit felt. There was still many nights I would wake up drenched from MY OWN MEMORIES….That shit stays with you like a plague. I was just happy she didn’t have panic attacks like I did…yea I would still have ‘em every now and then…. I just hid it from everybody. Life gets heavy sometimes you know! But I wasn’t worried bout me…The only thing I wanted was to make Sweets smile again….

“Arrre you commmin?” I heard her say into the phone.

“Yea I’m on my way….Got Pat drivin me…Had a few drinks not riskin it…Wait you been drinkin?” I asked finally realizin she was slurrin.

“Mm hmm…DON STARRTT!” She yelled out of no where!

Aw shit.

“Hey…I wasn’t gonna say nothin! Hell I have too…You just sound fuuucked up!” I said laughin lightly.

“Ouch…Mm I ting I am…Sssooo how longgg you gon…WHOA!” I heard her say and then somethin crash.

DAMN!

“Sweets what the hell?” I said now concerned.

“Shit…I broooke mi dam vassse.” She said like she was talkin to herself.

I knew she was GOOOONE cause her accent was comin out…It actually tickled me and made me sad for a moment cause when she was super fucked up she sounded just like Mommi…Crazy shit and all!

“Yo…Pat hurry up man….She fuckked up and done broke a vase and shit.” I said laughin lightly to Pat.

“She ok?” Pat said lookin concerned in the rearview mirror.

“Yea she just cussin somebody out right now…Just hurry up.” I said laughin now listenin to her CUSSIN THIS IMAGINARY PERSON THE FUCK OUT! HA!

“CHRIS!” She yelled into the phone.

“What Baby?” I asked her tryin to stop myself from laughin.

“CHRIS YEW GOTTT FIVVE MINNUTTES TO GIT HERRRE!” She yelled some more as I pulled the phone back from my ear and laughed.

“Five minutes? You live in fuckin Malibu…Not around the corner!” I said laughin as Pat sped up.

“I DON CURR YEW….Hey I founnd somme twizzzlerss…Yew want somme?” She said randomly.

WOOOOW

I couldn’t help but bust out laughin….I know it was the liq but this was the funniest shit right now! I could just picture her gettin distracted! I was actually happy tho…Cause at least she wasn’t cryin.

“Yea sure!” I said as Pat pulled up to her gate and punched in her code. “You gotta save me some tho.”

“HAHAHA…NOPPPE!” She said laughin and now smackin.

“See that’s fucked up…Aight man hit you tomorrow.” I said to her then to Pat as I got out.

“Aight Breezy…Tell her I said take it easy.” Pat said

“Aight…I will.” I said grabbin the bag and sack I brought as I closed the door.

“CHRIIISSSS!” She yelled again.

WHAT WOMAN!

“Yes Baby.” I said chucklin as I walked up to her door.

“I love you…” She said gettin quiet.

Damn…

My heart instantly melted. It was crazy how those three words comin out of her mouth still made me lose my breath. Guess cause I knew for a fact she really did. Damn…

“I love you too.” I said back and then pushed her doorbell.

“Oh my God…Sommebodyy is herrre.” She whispered.

HA! I KNOW!

“What? Who the fuck you got comin to yo house at 3 in the mornin?” I said playin serious.

“Huh?” She said confused and I heard her move around.

“You heard me woman…Who the fuck is ringin ya damn doorbell like they crazy at 3 in the mornin!” I demanded and kept ringin her doorbell over and over!

“Wha…” I heard her pause. “YEW JERRKKK!” She then yelled as she unlocked the door and cracked it.

“AHAHAHA!” I said hangin up and goin for the door but she closed it.

HEY!

“Sweets let me in!” I said laughin through the door.

“NO! YEW AINNT SHIIITTT!” She yelled back through the door.

HAHA! I KNOW!

“Baby come on…I got somethin for you.” I said sweetly and waited.

“DICK?” She said bluntly.

WHAT? WAIT…WHOA!

“Huh?” I said tryin to gather myself.

Just then she opened the door and she was standin there in black laced Vicky Sec’s and a cream silk robe. Her hair was down and she had on MAKE UP! GOOOD DAAAAAMN!!! My mouth dropped and I almost dropped the sack I was holdin behind my back for her! YEA YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO WOKE UP! SHIT GOD DAMN! HA!

“Wha…Wha…Damn woman.” I stuttered.

“Yew like?” She said lettin the robe fall to the floor and turnin but stumbled.

SHIT!

“Whoa!” I said as grabbed for her before she could fall.

“I’mm ok…I’m ok.” She said tryin to stand up straight then lookin at the sack I still had in my hand.

“You sure…You almost busted yo ass!” I said laughin.

“Shut up! Iss that forr meh?” She said reachin for the sack.

“Yea…Brought you some Rosco-“ I stopped as she snatched the sack out my hand and wobbled her way to the kitchen.

WELL DAMN!

“Okaaay.” I blinked and picked my bag up before I closed and locked the door.

I heard her microwave goin so I went to her room and pulled my basketball shorts out. I got undressed put’em on and went back out to the livin room where she was now DEVOURIN THE FOOD!

DAMN!

“Guess you was hungry huh?” I said laughin lightly.

“You knoow I-“ She stopped as she looked up at me and took my chest in.

Hmmm…

I didn’t say nothin just smiled and went to the kitchen and poured her a glass of orange juice. Even tho I was MISSIN HER BAD! I had already decided I wasn’t bout to initiate nothin…Especially while she was still hurtin and fucked up. So…it would have to be her move.

“You good now?” I asked as I sat down handin her the glass.

“A little…Still spinnin tho” She said nervously sippin the juice and not lookin at me.

“Eat some more…It’ll stop.” I said sittin back and lookin at the TV. “So where Xena and lil mama?”

“Xena went to her boyfriend’s and Tank’s in town for a week so Zoey is with him.” She said puttin the glass down.

“Word! I’mma have to hit him up…Man she gettin so big!” I said smilin.

“Yea I know and just the sweetest thing…” She trailed off with a slight smile.

“Yea…” I said as my mind drifted to Cheyanne.

Damn…

I woulda had a kindergartner by now…Man just the thought was CRAZY! I would watch all the homies around me with the little ones…And couldn’t help but think of how she would have been my lil mini me! I woulda made sure she was the freshest walkin into her class! HA! Laced her with everythin her lil heart desired. She woulda been my world.

Damn…

“So they accepted the songs.” She said snappin me out of my thoughts.

“Word.” I said sittin up.

“Yup aaand…” She said pausin.

“And What?” I said raising my eyebrow.

“She wants to meet up with me.” She said still not lookin at me.

WOW

I couldn’t help but be shocked I mean…Sweets and Rob’s history had been well ROCKY to say the least…So this was definitely surreal. I honestly didn’t know how to feel about it. WHAT DID SHE WANT TO MEET UP WITH HER FOR?

“So you gonna go?” I finally asked her.

“Well I mean I don’t know…Not like we been on speakin terms and the last time I saw her was in the club a few months back and she acted like she didn’t see me the whole time even tho our tables were right next to each other…So yea I just don’t need no fake shit!” She said bluntly and pickin at her waffles.

“I feel you but…I mean you gotta expect that she would wanna smooth things over if ya’ll gonna be workin together.” I said runnin my hands through my curls.

“Hm…Still I don’t need no funny shit poppin off cause the way I’m feelin…Mommi might get her wish if she come at me slick.” She said finally lookin at me.

CRAZY!

“See you aint gotta go into thinkin like that…Just handle that shit like business and let that be that…You know?”  I said sittin back.

“I know…But I’m tellin you she say one thing off bout you and I’m goin to jail…Period!” She said puttin the box on the table.

WOW

“Sweets promise me you ain’t gonna wile out…You betta than that shit.” I said sittin up and facin her cause I knew she meant it.

“I know I am…But I also aint gonna let the bitch be disrespectful or fake either!” She said gettin up takin the glass and box to the kitchen.

Aw shit.

“You so damn stubborn…Just promise me man.” I said gettin up and followin her.

“Chris I can’t promise you that…All I know is you betta pray for ha….And hope she keeps that shit cute!” She said puttin the glass in the sink.

Damn.

“Aight fine…Just don’t call my ass collect cause I ain’t gettin yo crazy ass out!” I said laughin lightly.

“Ch…The hell you aren’t!” She said laughin lightly and hittin me in the arm.

“Hell nah cause I tol ya not to do it…Hardheaded!” I said laughin “Gone be in that bitch like He really not answerin his phone! Nope!” I said laughin harder.

“You aint shit…You would never!” She said pushin me as she walked back into the livin room and sat down.

“Yea I would! Ya crazy ass gone learn and I’m gone teach ya!” I said sittin down beside her.

“Whatever…” She said smilin then lookin at my hair and run her fingers through it lightly. “Love your hair like that.”

“Yea thought I’d rock em for a while you know for Momm-“ I stopped.

 I saw the smile leave her face. I could literally see everythin come floodin back in her eyes. Damn. I didn’t mean to bring her down. Mommi loved my curls so I had been lettin my hair grow out for her for a little while now…I just never told Sweets.

“Aye look I’m sorry.” I said scootin closer to her.

“Nah…You ok…I just didn’t know they were for her…You don’t have to stop yourself if you wanna talk about her…I actually need that…Makes it feel like she’s still here.” She said lookin back up at me. “You should do somethin crazy like dye it blonde or somethin.”

“Dye it blonde?” I said laughin

“Yea…Just bust out like LOOK AT ME NOW BITCHES!” She said laughin and trailin her fingers down to my ear.

Damn don’t do that…

“Aight! I can do that…” I said brushin her hair off her shoulder.

“Really?” She said shiverin as I ran my fingers down her stars tatt on her side.

“Yup.” I said lookin at her as she took her hand away from my ear.

“Chris.” She said quietly lookin down.

“Yea.” I answered watchin her turn to me.

“Will you…” She said stoppin and playin with her fingers.

 I knew…She aint even gotta ask…

 She went to say the rest but I didn’t let her finish…I lifted her chin towards me…I read her mind for a few seconds then leaned in close to her and waited. She started breathin heavy and then kissed me softly. Normally I would have went into full autopilot but not this time. For some reason I wanted to take it all in. No rush. But she began kiss me with so much passion I had to try and keep control. She pushed me back on the couch and looked at me.  She slowly straddled me and kissed me deep again. Shit. I ran my hands up her thighs to her back and she pulled away holdin my face and searchin my eyes.

Just say it…

“Make love to me.”  

 

Yes… Mrs. Breezy…

“When it’s all said and done…I’mma make you number one…”

(Sweets POV)

 

Chris’s break up with Jasmine was pretty embarassin for him. I mean as much as he did deserve to have a taste of his own medicine…What I really hoped most was that he learned from it!  Hoped that he would take his time before he rushed into relationship after relationship! And even though he had told me he didn’t love her yet…He was definitely startin to fall and I could tell that that is what made him feel embarrassed the most. Even tho I wanted to find her and FUCK HER UP…I realized this wasn’t my battle…It was time for me to let him handle this on his own. He was already bein hounded about it…Everyone was wonderin how he let Rob Kardashian of all people steal his girl. What they didn’t understand was when someone is in it for ulterior motives nobody can STEAL anythin…She got what she wanted which was EXPOSURE…DICK and then MOVED ON TO ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY! Just that simple! Of course she continued to call him and want to talk things out but Chris was pretty adamant that he was over them bein in a relationship…EVER AGAIN! Hell he even unfollowed her on twitter!

OOPS!

I kept my opinions on the whole situation to myself because well I didn’t know much about what had went on between them…Hell they only made it to 2 months! So I didn’t even have time to feel the girl out! I just chalked it up to her bein young! I could tell Chris was grateful that I didn’t throw it up in his face…And there really wasn’t a need to THE WORLD WAS DOIN IT ALREADY! I really did hate that every little thing that happened to him had to be EXPOSED to the world. But that is the life he chose…And the reason I fought hard to keep what we had in the past PRIVATE!

THE PRICE OF FAME

I had finished up the tracks that I had co-wrote with Ester a month ago and we had to wait to see if they were goin to be accept by Rob and her label. I had felt uneasy with the thought of my thoughts comin out of her mouth…But after talkin to Kev about it some more he said to think of it as me writin a play and she just happens to be the one actin out MY STORY! I really loved the insight he had…He said that’s how he handles writin for Chris…Even though Chris writes most of his own parts…Some of the songs are his words and Chris is actin them out. I was definitely intrigued on which ones exactly he wrote…Especially after him lettin me know that he writes about ME! Since the night in the studio we haven’t even spoke about it…I could tell that was the type of person he was…If it wasn’t somethin he could change or act on at the moment he would move on…No pressure. I loved it! We had become really close though….Hangin out more workin on he new mixtape with Seven. It was weird havin to oversee his project as well as make sure him, Seven and now Joelle were gettin adjusted to regualer studio life. It helped that Tina and Chris were really hands on with teachin me what I needed to do as far as artist development…It was DRAININ but excitin and I love a CHALLENGE!

 I had set them all up in my condos…Well Joelle and Seven shared one and I set Kev up with a two bedroom because he had just welcomed Jenesis Mccall to the world! I fell in love with her instantly! I would joke with him and tell him to go get My BABY! He would have the biggest smile on his face and sure enough would bring her to the studio so I could hold her for hours! I knew he appreciated the help and I also noticed I was only one of the FEW people he would let hold her! When we would take her out places people would compliment us…I would try and tell them that she wasn’t mine but most of the time Kev would just say thank you and wink at me.

WOW

I would find myself gazin at her small body and wonder what could have been of Cheyanne. She would have just turned 5…Ready to start school. Could you imagine the headlines! CHRIS BROWN’S DAUGHTER STARTS HER FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! It would have been CRAZY! I often thought of how different a person Chris would have been….How different his path would have turned out…How different OUR lives would have been. But like he told me years ago…Everythin happens for a reason and it’s not our place to question it. I can’t help it sometimes though…I still wondered. I would see Chris watch me with Jeni and it was the first time I saw a mixture of sadness and hurt in his eyes. I knew he loved kids and it seemed like everyone around him had one. Hell even Shad just got the results to his paternity and YES HE WAS A DADDY NOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! I also told him to make sure he had an extra car seat for me cause when he was in town HE HAD TO BRING ME MY OTHER BABY! HA! Chris was always so good with all the kids…He would just light up from their innocence…But somethin told me he yearned now for the one WE would have had….Together.

 Everythin was changin…We were all changin…Growin and goin on our on paths. I had started meditatin and gettin into yoga. I tried it out with my bestie Tae and Xena a few times and it was really helpin me. Especially my anger and impatience! Chris thought it was neat but he refused to do it with me! He said that he didn’t want to be doin nothin that could make him bend to smell his own butt! HAHA! Just crazy!

NEW THINGS

At the beginnin of July I had started seein an old female friend of mine from back in the day. We used to have so much fun runnin around and gettin into shit with her and her crew! I always thought she was the sweetest! It wasn’t til right before I met Chris that I even found out she was Bi! But we were young and just experimented…Nothin came of it and we lost touch til I ran into her while I shoppin for Chris’s outfit for the BET Awards. I was so happy to see her again…She said she was a hostess now and was tryin to get into fashion. I was too excited because we had so much in common now! So when she let it be known that she wanted to spark things up with me I was feelin it! I just had one rule for myself…IM NOT INTRODUCIN HER TO CHRIS! Hell I wasn’t goin down the same road I went down with Draya and Deanna…Uh Uh! I didn’t even tell her Chris’s real name…I mean there was no need. The only draw back to the whole situation…She had a MAN! SHIT! I wasn’t sure how I felt about it at first cause well I liked her and dug what we were doin but…I wasn’t cool with the sharin thing again. I mean I REALLY REALLY was startin to fall for her… So by the beginnin of August I called it off…She seemed pretty down and so was I but I wasn’t puttin myself back in that situation…NOT EVEN IF SHE WAS BAD! It sucked cause it seemed I couldn’t get this datin thing right NO MATTER WHICH SIDE I CHOSE!

BACK TO REALITY

When Mommi called me and told me she was sick I really didn’t think much of it. She told me she had this naggin cold that wouldn’t go away so I told her to take her medicine and get some rest…I mean she was always on the go so I knew her body must have been tired.  I also knew she had had some health issues but nothin ever too serious. She just needed to slow down! I was in the studio at the time when I got the call from Bette. I knew somethin was wrong cause I could barely understand her….She was cryin. When I realized that I immediately walked away from Mijo and Chris in mid conversation and went to the hallway to hear her better.

When she let those two words come out her mouth my world STOPPED. I couldn’t register them….It sounded like gibberish….There was no way she was sayin to me what I heard.

“She’s gone.”

My heart started poundin and I felt myself begin to sweat….I felt like I had a ton of bricks on my chest…The last person left in my life to make me whole…Was gone. I didn’t even know when I started but I let out a scream that felt like it came from the depths of my soul. I couldn’t stop…I screamed and screamed until I felt arms wrap around me. I couldn’t think ALL I COULD DO WAS SCREAM!

“Sweets what the hell is goin on?” I heard Chris say as Mijo picked my phone up off the ground.

“NOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOOO!” I continued to scream as he tried to hold on to me.

“SWEETS WHAT IS IT? TELL ME!” He said now tryin to block my swings as I began to fight.

“SHE CAN’T GO! NOOOOO….I DON’T HAVE NOBODY! SHE CAN’T BE GONE!” I yelled as I heard Mijo talkin on my phone.

“Oh my god…” I heard Mijo say quietly.

“WHAT?” I heard Chris say as he tried to bear hug me as Pat, Seven and Kevin ran over.

“She…Fuck man…Mommi gone man.” I heard Mijo say with pain in his voice and everbody gasped.

“NOOOO SHE NOT…YOUR LYIN! SHE’S OK….SHE JUST HAD TO REST!” I finally screamed as me and Chris collapsed to the floor.

“No..This….Shhh…Baby shhhh.” I heard Chris barely get out as he began to rock me.

“Nooooo….It’s not right…..This is a…a joke….Chris tell me….Tell me this not real.” I said with tears pourin down my face and my heart achin.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could get out as Kevin, Seven and Pat stood over us.

I saw Mijo breakdown as Pat tried to hold him up.

I GOT TO GET AWAY!

I finally looked up into Chris eyes full of tears and I couldn’t take it…IT WAS REAL. I pulled away from him and got to my feet…I ran right out the door. I heard everyone callin for me but I kept goin I ran as hard I could…I had no idea where I was goin…My mind was in a fog…My heart felt like it was bleedin…My head was poundin…But at that moment I didn’t care….I just kept runnin. When I finally felt like I was gonna collapse I had reached a park and slowed down just then I felt arms wrap around me and we fell to the ground. I began kickin and screamin and then I heard Chris’s voice tellin me to stop. I was so distraught I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So he just held on to me tighter then I felt another pair of strong arms pick me up. When I finally stopped fightin I realized it was Pat. I don’t know if it was the lovin look in his eyes or me feelin like I couldn’t fight no more but I relaxed in his arms and cried hard as he carried me to the Escalade.

 I wanted to die…

The one person in the world that I knew I couldn’t live without was now gone…I was in a daze as me, Chris, Mijo, Pat and Tina all flew to Atlanta so that I could make the arrangements. I couldn’t focus on anythin. When we arrived I felt like the walkin dead…I couldn’t do anythin but cry so my Aunt, Bette and Chris had Tina took over. I couldn’t begin to describe the feelin if I tried…The hole in my heart was so big I felt that nothin could ever fill it again. I layed in my bed for two days….I couldn’t sleep….I couldn’t eat…I couldn’t do nothin but cry as Chris held me. I had no idea she had been sufferin from Lupus for two years….Why didn’t she tell me…

NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE

By the day of the funeral I was still in shambles… But I had finally mustered enough strength to finally shower and try to get dressed as Chris and Randa helped me. I sat there in the front pew starin at her coffin…Motionless. I was aware of everyone around me….all the hugs and the condolences…Even Chris and Mama J holdin my hands the entire time and never leavin my side. But I was not there. After the actual burial and the gatherin at my house…I didn’t want to do anythin but lay in my bed holdin her favorite pendant from my Granmema. It hurt more cause she was too sick to fly from Trinidad to ATL. As the silence surrounded me…It all sank in…I was now an ORPHAN. No more calls…No more laughs…No more dirty jokes…No more conversations about grandbabies and marryin Chris. Everythin as I knew it was NO MORE.

How do I go on…

 The next mornin I was awaken by a heated conversation that was goin on between Chris and Tina downstairs. I couldn’t make out what was bein said so I finally drug myself out of bed and slowly crept down the stairs. When I finally got down there Mama J, Tina and Chris were goin back and forth in the livin room.

“Chris you have to go…It’s your obligation!” Tina shot at him pleadingly.

“NO THIS IS MY OBLIGATION! IF YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE CAN’T UNDERSTAND THAT THEN FUCK EVERYBODY!” He yelled back throwin his hands in the air.

What?

“CHRIS! You got to calm down…She is just sayin you can fly out to the premiere and then you can come right back…You’ll back by tomorrow mornin.” I saw Mama try and reason with him. “I’ll stay here with her…She will be ok baby.”

“Nah Momma…I told ya’ll I ain’t leavin her….not like this…I don’t give damn about that premiere right now…All I care about is makin sure Sweets is ok…I’m all she got lef-“ He stopped as I heard his voice crack and then he cleared it. “I ain’t goin…Period.”

Go…

I slowly walked into the livin room and before Tina could respond they all looked over at me. I was so numb inside that when I spoke I didn’t even recognize my own voice.

“You gotto go.” I said dryly as I watched him walk over to me.

“Baby I ain’t leavin you…Fuck that.” He said grabbin a hold of my hands.

“Chris…You can’t afford to blow it off…You have to go.” I said numbly.

“No.” He said clenchin his jaw and shakin his head.

I looked over at Mama who had her hand over her mouth and I could tell was gettin emotional cause she was turnin red…Then I looked at Tina who looked torn by havin to enforce this decision at a time like this. I looked back up and Chris hadn’t takin his eyes off me but he was now holdin my hands tighter.

He had to go…For Mommi

“Then I’ll go with you.” I said without emotion.

“Baby you need to rest.” He said firmly.

“No…Mommi waited 2 years to see you in this movie and we are all goin to watch it together…I’m goin with you.” I confessed tryin to hold back the pain that was seepin to the surface. “She wanted to see you dressed to the nines by m…me…So we are goin.”

“Sweets.” He began to protest but stopped as we heard Mama sniff.

“You got me?” I finally asked feelin my voice shake harder.

“I g-got you.” He said as his lips began to shake.

 

“Den les ride Bebeh.” I heard Mommi say to him.

 

“Den les ride Bebeh.” I said as her voice came through mine and I reached up and cupped his face.

I saw him close his eyes tight and squeeze my hand. He lowered his head that was now full of curls. He blew out a deep sigh and answered as they would end their conversations.

“To de stars an back.” He said finally openin his eyes droppin tears.

He was her pick…The one she trusted me with…No one could ever compare…She wanted him to soar to the stars…She wanted him at peace and that’s what I was gonna make sure of…

“Take care of mi Bebeh, Chris.”

“Always, Mommi, Always.”

 

To de stars an back…

“Lady come here girl…I don’’t wanna share this with nobody…Your amazing…The perfect picture…”

(Chris POV)

 

I knew I had messed up. I honestly wasn’t expectin shit to go down between us…So I was gonna tell her about the party and me & Jas.  But it just got so heated so quick I only had a split second to decide…And well when it comes to Sweets not goin into FUCK WHOEVER IM WITH mode is damn near IMMPOSIBLE! I mean I was fightin myself and in my mind screamin DON’T DO IT SHE’S GONNA BE PISSED but…My heart said ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU LOVE THIS WOMAN! So I decided to listen to my heart and at least make her feel good….WITHOUT THE SEX! I know…Still blew up in my face but I thought she would at least not be as mad cause we didn’t ACTUALLY go through with it! I honestly knew I didn’t have any business comin over mad as I was about her and Trey but I guess the same way I felt about bein blindsided… She had every right…Right then to be just as upset with me…Damn.

I AINT GOIN NOWHERE

I sat on her couch and waited…I knew she would probably think I left but nah…Uh Uh…I had to explain this shit…The old me woulda just said FUCK IT I’M OUT but not this time…I mean I had literally just got with Jas two days ago and I wasn’t sure if it was actually worth it! Don’t get me wrong when we finally got down… THE GOOD GIRL SHIT WENT OUT THE WINDOW! But that is what had me hesitant…I felt like if she could hide that side that damn well then what else was she hidin? There was still so much I DIDN’T know about her and she was definitely guarded. I was used to whoever I was with to feel comfortable enough to open up to me but it was like she was maze and I kept hittin walls! On the outside lookin in she was PERFECT. Beautiful…Smart…Focused..Sassy…Fun. Could hang with my crew. So far only showed me slight drama…And A FREAK! Hell even TEAM BREEZY was feelin her! AND THAT’S HARD AS HELL! So why did I feel like she wasn’t the ONE? Like the shit was just not REAL! I wasn’t blind to the fact that bein with me was addin to her exposure…but deep down I was hopin that wasn’t the reason she wanted to be with me. I had already went down that road and learned my lesson! I guess I was just still wantin somebody like Sweets who no matter how much we been through they saw me for me…Loved me for me…Not what my name could offer them.

HERE GOES NOTHIN

I stood up when she came half way down the stairs on the phone rantin after a WHOLE HOUR and stopped dead in her tracks. The look on her face was one of pure shock! She had showered and changed cause her hair was now curly and up in a bun plus she had on the MJ tee I had got her awhile ago….Short shorts and 3’s…DAMN! I had to focus tho.

“Let me…Let me call you back…girl…” She trailed off and hung up on whoever.“What are you…” She said starin at me like she seen a ghost.

“Still doin here?…Well I let you be alone…You said go away you didn’t say get out.” I said bein technical and soundin like well a STALKER.

DON’T JUDGE ME!

“Oh my God….” She said slowly walkin down the stairs still in disbelief. “Chris it’s been an hour…You been down here the whole time!”

“Mm Hm.” I said noddin.

“You…Wow.” She said shakin her head and walkin over to the livin room.

“I wanted to talk to you about all this…I didn’t want you to think I had played you.” I began.

“Well that’s exactly how it seems to me…I mean you came over here to regulate me about Trey…We get down and the whole time your with Jasmine…” She said floppin down on the couch.

Damn…

“I didn’t…Ok like I said I know I was wrong for that…But I was gonna tell you I just didn’t expect us to do what we did…That’s why I stopped…” I said sittin on the couch across from her.

“Chris…This just has to stop….I mean its like a vicious cycle…Every time I think we could be back on track here you come with a new chick…Why is it so hard for you to just stay single?” She said lookin up at me.

Man…

I knew she had been wantin to know that answer for a long time and truthfully I had to ask myself that. And honestly it was partially cause I didn’t like bein alone and partially cause she had turned me down SO MANY times I didn’t think we would ever get back together…So I had to move on!

“Truth.” I said sighin.

“Truth.” She said searchin my eyes.

“I like  bein in a relationship…Yea I can get bitch after bitch…Three or four to toss up in a night but at the end of the day I only want one woman…Somebody I can call “My Girl”…Somebody I can trust…That loves me for me..” I said pausin cautiously as she listened.

“Not gonna lie I have been searchin for what we had and honestly I can’t find that shit so I just…Settle til maybe one day you say Ok Chris I want you in my world again…Forever.” I finally confessed.

There…

She sat there takin in everythin I had said. I expected her not to believe me but she just nodded her head and agreed.

Wow.

“I knew all along…Just wanted to know if you realized it…Chris nobody will ever be me…Just like nobody will ever be you…What it comes down to is we have to decide…Decide whether we are better in a relationship or as friends.” She said directly

“You know my answer tho.” I interjected.

“But truthfully what I need from you…Complete faithfulness…You can’t give me cause your surrounded by temptation everywhere.” She said sittin back.

DAMMIT!

“You can’t keep thinkin I will repeat history…Just cause I did it before doesn’t mean I haven’t learned my lesson….I can do it….Just admit you just don’t trust me no more.” I said scootin up and waitin for her answer.

“Chris…” She started then stopped and looked away.

“Wow…Well I can’t do nothin but take that…Just good to know finally.” I said ready to GET AWAY! So I stood up.

“Trust is hard for me and you know that…I gave all of mine to you…You promised me so much and you…Broke every last one…How am I supposed to give it to you again without bein afraid?” She said with a shaky voice.

“Guess you’ll never know cause you wont take that chance.” I said bluntly and walked to the door and but turned around. “By the way me and Jas just got together and no I don’t love her.” I said knowin her thoughts.

She finally looked over at me as if she couldn’t believe I was readin her mind…Yea I still do that…Just try not to tell her.

“And yes I still love you nothin gonna change that…But I love you enough to let you fly…We’ll come back around…That I know.” I said turnin around and walkin out.

ON SOME NEW SHIT

A month later things were lookin pretty good as far as my music goes. Dueces and No BS were gettin crazy airplay across the country and the videos stayed on 106 and Park and other video outlets…All thanks to TEAM BREEZY! I couldn’t thank them enough if it hadn’t been for them fight for me and believin in me I couldn’t have made it through last year and half! They were AMAZIN! I had begun recordin for my next album which I decided to name F.A.M.E. I  decided on that name after I finished a tatt I had sketchin out awhile  ago…It stood for Forgivin All My Enemies…I also wanted TEAM BREEZY to have a special connection to it so I decided it all meant Fans Are My Everythin…Cause without them I wouldn’t be here right now! It seemed like I had recorded over 30 songs already… I knew I could only have a certain number for my album so I was think of makin another mixtape…Hell TEAM BREEZY wanted it so I had to deliver! Other than recordin…I was doin club appearances which paid good money…I was pretty happy on where things were headed!

I was also happy that K-Mac was finally gettin the exposure he needed…Seemed like everywhere I went he was asked about like “Who the nigga you got on the track with you and Tyga?” So we started to speed up his first mixtape called UNINVITED GUEST….I didn’t want to be all over it cause I wanted this to be his chance to showcase what he could do… But Mostly I was ready to help him shine! CBE TAKEOVER! After our talk I decided to back up off Sweets and mainly focus on recordin…But even with that she had told me about a girl she seen on Youtube and that I should check her out…I watched all of her videos and she was AMAZIN! Just raw and soulful….What blew my mind was she was this 19 year old white girl with the voice of a straight up gospel singer! Her name was Joelle James and she was in college in Boston. I knew immediately I wanted to sign her. I had Sweets get me her information and I called her personally…I did that cause Sweets let me know that she was also TEAM BREEZY and stayed goin hard for me! So that just made the whole scenario even more special! When I called her she didn’t believe it was me…It was too funny…I tried to convince her… But she didn’t believe me til I sung a little of NO BS …It was then she started to scream and cry! I finally got her to calm down and told her I wanted to fly her out to LA so I could meet her in person. Two weeks later I welcomed Joelle to CBE…I now had three artist! Mijo and Tey had put a group together awhile back called U.G.L.Y…Tey decided she wanted to do her own solo thing so we were tryin to find another lead singer. Jas suggested her model friend named Stormi…Jas said she was leavin her modelin career to take music serious. Only thing was she was in NY. Me, Jas and Mijo finally convinced her to come and hang out with us for my 4^th of July pool party. She had a beautiful voice and was gorgeous…the next week she told me she wanted to relocate…I told her the door was always open! So there you have it CBE is on the RISE!

ALL THAT GLITTERS AINT GOLD

It was the middle of July and I was hard at work recordin for FAME…Things  with me and Jas were well touch and go…I mean she would be cool to hang with then have a straight attitude if Sweets or any other girls beside Tey or Seven were around me…I mean I wasn’t doin anything with Sweets! Besides Sweets had told me she was talkin to some chick now. Which I wasn’t trippin but what bugged me about it was she would never introduce us…I mean I knew that she felt like every girl she liked always ended up feelin me except for Seiko but I wasn’t gonna let that happen again! I mean she wouldn’t even tell me her real name! DAMN AM I THAT BAD? All she would tell me was she was an old friend they reconnected and she had always dug her…I knew it wasn’t Seiko so I figured she must not be somebody she too serious about. SHE KNOW SHE STILL LOVE DICK! HA! Back to Jas…Now I also had picked up on her inconsistent stories and excuses for why I couldn’t get a hold of her sometimes….I mean I wasn’t sweatin it at first cause she was a busy girl and it was Fashion Week season! But after the first 3 weeks some of the excuses started to sound like STRAIGHT UP LIES! I guess it was irkin me cause I was actually bein faithful and it seemed like she was PLAYIN A NIGGA! She would try and smooth it over by putting it DOWN on a nigga but I was on to the games! I really didn’t want to go runnin to Sweets with my problems so when she called me and told me she wanted me to come hang out and write at her new beach house I was definitely shocked! I had decided on the drive over there I wasn’t gonna talk about Jas and me…It was gonna just be a chill time…with my FRIEND.

When I pulled up I was thrown off cause Tey’s car was there and Sweets never said anything about her bein there. When I got to the door she opened it and gave me a long hug. But wasn’t like “I’m so happy to see you” hug it was a “I hope your ok.” hug….Which immediately set off alarms in my head! When I walked on into the house Not only was Tey there but so was Xena, Mijo and Bow! WHAT THE FUCK? IS THIS AN INTERVENTION? I slowly walked in and looked at Sweets and I could tell she knew somethin cause wouldn’t really look at me but was not happy at all.

WHAT THE FUCK?

“Hey Bro.” Tey finally said as she was holdin her Mac.

“What up…Fuck all ya’ll doin here?” I said walkin over to the couch and sittin down.

“Told ya’ll niggas he didn’t know.” Mijo said flippin through the channels on the TV.

“Know what?” I finally said lookin around the room and stoppin at Sweets who was extra quiet but I could tell was irked.

“Damn my nigga you aint been on twitter today?” Bow finally said rubbin his head.

“Nah been workin on this track with Kev damn near all night…Why what’s up?” I said pullin out my phone.

“When’s the last time you talked to yo bitch?” Mijo said bluntly raising his eyebrow.

“Last Night…Why?” I said now know it had to do with Jas.

“Well…Where did she say she was at?” Tey fired obviously pissed.

WHAT IS UP???

“Damn Ya’ll…What the fuck is goin on?” I said laughin lightly tryin to keep myself from gettin pissed.

“Didn’t you tell me she told you she was in Miami for fashion week?” Sweets finally spoke with venom in her voice.

DAMN!

“Yea…Man come the fuck on just tell me what is up!” I finally said gettin frustrated with not knowin.

“Shit I’ll show ‘em cause I heard about that bitch! Here!” Xena said walkin over to me and handin me her Mac.

I looked at her confused then grabbin it out her hand. I looked at the story and the fuckin headline said JASMINE SANDERS AND ROB KARDASHIAN SPOTTED TOGETHER IN LAS VEGAS YESTURDAY!  I scrolled down and sure as shit there was pics of them hugged up in the hot tub with Khloe and Lamar! THIS LYIN ASS BITCH! I immediately picked my phone back up scrolled through it and hit dial….I got up and walked out Sweets patio door waitin on her to answer.

 OH SHE GETTIN CUSSED THE FUCK OUT!

“Hey babe.” She said in a cheery tone with people talkin in the background.

“Hey Babe…So you enjoyin yourself?” I asked in a forced happy tone lettin her hang herself.

“Yea…Everythin has been so crazy since yesturday…Hair and make up…Wardrobe changes…Just constant goin!” She LIED.

HUNG YASELF BITCH!

“Word…So when did your flight get into Miami from Vegas?” I dropped the bomb on her.

SILENCE

“Hello?” I said tryin to control the flames in my stomach.

“I uh…What are you talkin about?” She tried to play stupid.

“You know what the fuck I’m talkin bout…You bein in Vegas with Rob Kardashian!” I fired.

“What…” She said soundin like she was movin around and then the background noise stopped. “WHAT THE HELL?” She finally yelled.

DON’T TRY IT!

“YOU TELL ME…ALL I SEE IS PICS OF MY LYIN ASS BITCH OF A SUPPOSED GIRLFRIEND ALL HUGGED UP WITH THE HOMIE!” I yelled back.

“LYIN ASS BITCH? WHO YOU CALLIN A BITCH?” She yelled back.

“UH APPARENTLY YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU JAS I KNEW YOU ASS WAS A HOE! YOU HAVE YOU A NICE TIME TRYIN KEEP UP WITH KARDASHIANS BIIIITCH!” I emphasized hangin up and wantin to toss my damn phone!

I was PISSED! How did she think she was gonna play me like that IN PUBLIC and think that she wasn’t gonna be all over the blogs! I FELT LIKE A DAMN FOOL! I knew I shoulda trusted my gut and not fucked with her…I knew she was SNEAKY AS FUCK! And now it was all OUT THERE FOR EVERBODY TO SEE! AINT THIS BOUT A BITCH! When I turned around Sweets and Tey were standin behind me. I took one look at them and I could tell they wanted to catch a flight and GO BEAT HER ASS! I saw Tey on her phone typin somethin crazy then turned and went inside. I heard everybody inside start laughin so I walked past Sweets and went back inside. Truthfully I couldn’t look at her cause well I WAS EMBARASSED AS HELL! When I got inside they were all on the computers and laughin.

“Fuck ya’ll doin?” I finally asked still pissed.

“We puttin this bitch on blast bro!” Tey said then typin some more on her phone.

“Yea my nigga…I knew her ass seemed shady but damn!” Bow said laughin.

“Man fuck that bitch.” I said wavin the shit off tryin  to keep my cool.

“Nah look like he fuckin that bitch!” Bow said makin a joke at the wrong time.

“Nigga didn’t he fuck yo bitch too?” I fired at him lettin him know I wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

“My nigga I aint do it to you…And you know I let Ang go before he got to her.” Bow said still smirkin.

“Don’t leave ya bitch around Rob’s ass they gonna come up missin!” Mijo said laughin.

FUCK YA’LL RIGHT NOW!

“This bitch already subtweetin!” Xena finally said. “I swear that’s some bitch ass shit!”

“Yea I know…But I can subtweet all day long watch this shit!” Tey said. “She a scary hoe…She iont want it!”

AW SHIT!

I let them have their fun while I went in the kitchen. I grab some vodka and poured me a drink …When I looked up Sweets was lookin at me. Shit. I didn’t want to talk to her about this cause I shouldn’t have got with Jas in the first place…And truthfully I didn’t like lookin like a PUNK in front of her.

“Come with me.” She said holdin her hand out and everybody looked at us.

“Man… Sweets I just wanna drink this shit and chill.” I said sternly.

“You can bring it with you…Just come with me.” She said firmly.

Damn…

I reluctantly grab the cup and grabbed her hand. I followed her as she walked past her pool and on to the beach. We got a few yards from the house and I heard HER ringtone go off! I AINT GOT NOTHIN ELSE TO SAY! I saw Sweets look over but kept walkin and holdin my hand tighter. I downed my drink and tossed the cup and my phone went off again. YOU JUST DON’T GET IT DO YOU!! I was getting aggravated cause she called right back I pulled my phone out my pocket and pushed that bitch to voicemail. Sweets let go of my hand and kept walkin. I was irked further cause then SHE text me…I decided that I was gonna get the message to her loud and clear! I’M OVER IT! So I got on my twitter and of course TEAM BREEZY was goin NUTS! Damn…I decided to give her a response.

“ALL THAT GLITTERS AINT GOLD!”

I logged off that bitch and turned my phone off…I was done. When I looked up Sweets had stopped walkin and was lookin at me. Damn. She walked over to me slowly and stopped.

“You cool now.” She said searchin my eyes.

“Truth…No…But I’ll be aight…Lesson learned right?” I said sighin.

“Well just know I got you…And you will be aight…That I know.” She said matter of factly.

Her words meant a lot to me…I mean in this moment she could’ve did everythin from laughin in my face to sayin I  told you so…But she didn’t…She just wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tight. Damn. Everythin I ever wanted in a woman was standin right here huggin me on this beach. Even when she had the chance she never slaughtered me like the others. Yea we couldn’t seem to get on the same page as far as a relationship but I rather have my BESTFRIEND by my side then any OTHER bitch that CLAIM she love me.

And at that moment I was good.

Fuck A Barbie… 

“My heart big…But it beat quiet…”

(Chris POV)

 

I sat there tryin to figure out if I heard her right…I mean I knew she was mad cause she left NY without even so much as a call. My flight had just got into LA from NY and I wanted to talk to her about somethin HUGE that just got confirmed! I hated when we were at odds…Shit fucked with me somethin crazy! I took a second and decided to………Beg.

“Sweets Please…I only want to talk to you.” I said sincerely as possible.

“B…” I heard her sigh deeply.

“Look I swear I just need to talk…You wanna go eat?” I said throwin out a neutral place.

“We talkin now.” She said dryly.

DAMN!

“Ok yeeaa…But I’d rather talk to you face to face…Come ooon.” I begged some more.

“Stop whinin…God!” She said laughin lightly.

BINGO!

“I wiiilll if you Comme with meee…Pleeeeaase.” I whined some more.

“Look I’m tired…I just finished this song…I just want to lay down.” She said sighin.

“Word? Can I hear it?” I asked

“It’s… personal.” She hestitated.

Wow…

“Un…I see…It’s about me.” I said sittin back and sighin in my seat.

“Might be…Might be not….” She said like she was lost in her thoughts.

“Hmmm…Well Look here…How bout you turn ya car off…Come get in mine and we can go talk about it plus I got some super excitin news! You gonna flip!” I said revealin I was lookin dead at her.

WHAT?? YOU THINK I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE SHE WAS?

I saw her look around tryin to see where I was.

“What? Where are you?” She said lookin around some more.

“Over…No other way…Lean forward…Heeey Beautiful!” I said smilin and wavin at her.

“B! What the hell!” She said shakin her head.

“Whaaat?” I said innocently.

“Fuckin stalker!” She said now laughin.

 FOR YOU…YES I AM!

“Hey nah it’s not stalkin…I just so happened to be in the same place as you…Its fully legal.” I said laughin.

“Whatever….WHY THE HELL ARE WE STILL ON THE PHONE!” She yelled and laughed harder.

“Iont know woman! Get out the damn car and come on!” I said laughin.

“I’m comin! Bye!” She said shakin her head and hangin up.

Love her…

I saw her gather her purse and laptop…Then step out her Lambo and hit the chirp. I swear watchin her do that shit like a BOSS was SEXY AS HELL!!! She was just so CONFIDENT now…Like YEA I GOT MY OWN! It was the sexiest thing EVER! Just knowin her beginnins and how much she had been through. Seein her SHININ SO BRIGHT like I always knew she would…Just made me smile so hard my face ached!

 MY DIAMOND WAS NO LONGER IN THE ROUGH!

She got in and punched me in the arm! OUCH! I just laughed…I could tell she was really tired by her eyes. But I had GOOD news and I wanted her to be the FIRST to know! I sped off out the parkin lot and we ended up at a random ass diner…seemed like it was the only one open at damn near 4 in the mornin. I preferred Waffle House but it was LA! We got us a booth and I felt my phone vibrate. I checked it as I looked over the menu: JASIMINE. I let it go to voicemail. I figured she was just tryin to see if I had made it to LA but I wanted Sweets to have my full attention so she wasn’t gonna get a call back til tomorrow.

“So what’s this gooood news you wanted to tell me?” She said rubbin her sleepy eyes.

“Damn…I wasn’t gonna tell you yet!” I said lookin at the menu.

“Ch…B…Just tell me!” She said crossin her arms.

“Hey I was tryin to be dramatic and let it build up! You so damn impatient!” I said smilin at her.

“Pleeease…You the most anxious and impatient person I know… ADHD!” She said laughin.

“Why I gotta be ADHD?” I said laughin.

“Cause you are with ya 10 Second Tim ass! It’s a wonder you get anything done!” She said puttin her menu down and laughin.

“ Wow you gonna hit me with the 50 first dates! Aight…Aight…Aye I can focus when I need to…Just hate waitin that shits the worse!” I said scratchin the side of my head and laughin lightly.

“Hm …Yea I know.” She mumbled rollin her eyes and openin her laptop.

“What you mean by that?” I asked knowin what she meant.

“You have a serious problem waitin on a good thing…You rather have instant gratification.” She said without hesitation.

DAMN!

“How you know I aint waitin?” I fired back and looked her dead in the eyes.

What she didn’t know was I never slept with Jas after I took her home…She was tryin to but I told her I was just chillin. She got a big attitude with me and then told me she had some go-sees to go to the next mornin so she was goin to bed. I didn’t let it phase me and told her cool and left. I could tell it was somethin about her that I couldn’t quite put my finger on…Like she had this “GOOD GIRL” routine down to a science but I can spot a… Well I hate to say it but… A “HOE” a mile away and if she wasn’t one she definitely was borderline and tryin hard to hide it! I still said I was gonna give her the benefit of the doubt but I wasn’t gonna give her the dick just yet! I mean if she was frontin…Then she couldn’t keep up the “GOOD GIRL” face for long! Am I right?

“Pssh…Who you tryin to fool? You know you had Ms. Model Chicks legs up in the air so fast her head was spinnin!” She said laughin but irritated.

No. You’re wrong.

“If that’s what you think.” I said sittin back and tryin to hide my disappointment with her faith in me.

“I don’t have to think it…I know it…I been there remember?” She said clickin her laptop and music began to play.

I just shook my head…She really felt like I was some heartless hoeish ass nigga runnin around fuckin everybody! Ok…So yea I admit I got a decent number under my belt but I aint suckin and fuckin everythin with a BIG BUTT AND A SMILE! Nobody might believe it but a nigga is picky! Damn…Have SOME faith in ME! Truthfully if I could just HAVE HER BACK…None of them would exist.

 “Yea aight… Guess you keep forgettin your special…” I said lookin away.

She didn’t respond…She just looked at me for a seconds as I heard her voice comin from the laptop. It made me sit up cause I couldn’t believe Kev had actually got her in the booth…. I raised my eyebrow and clenched my jaw cause…..I was the ONLY ONE that could……do that…..

“So you recorded yourself?” I said lookin at her tryin to bury the erry feelin in my stomach.

“Yea…Well Seven and Kev’s friend Treasure helped with backgrounds…but that’s all me…It’s a rough demo…Just somethin Keri can use you know…” She trailin off rubbin the back of her neck and lookin down.

“Wow…” I said makin a mental note and now tryin to listen to the words.

I could hear the pain in her voice…Every word of the last half of the song felt like I was bein stabbed a million times…But the part that made me sit back and fight the tears that were stingin the back of my eyes out of nowhere was when she said :

“You told me that you would take care of me

You lied…You lied

You told me that you was the best for me

You lied…You lied

Cause you came up empty

I feel like you tricked me

Everythin you said you’d give me

You couldn’t give me” 

The words hit my heart so hard that I started coughin out of nowhere…SHIT! She had murdered me! The guilt was so damn strong I couldn’t do nothin but sip my water and be tortured by the rest of it…Cause…It was ALL TRUE and now I knew how she REALLY felt. I saw her sit back with her head down and close her eyes. I knew these were the things she had been holdin back from me…Why she wouldn’t sleep with me….Why she wouldn’t be with me……Somewhere I had broke US.

“I gave all of my love to HIM

 Hoorah…Hoorah..

I gave all my love to HIM

 Hoorah…Hoorah”

We both sat there in silence as I buried the tears that were threatenin to drop. All I could do was look at her…She kept her eyes closed…I knew she was fightin her tears too. I never wanted to make her cry…I never wanted to make her hurt…But I had. I finally got the nerve to speak but the waiter came up to take our orders. We gave him the orders and I waited for him to walk away.

“I never meant to be like that…” I finally said quietly.

“Things happen Chris…Life gets in the way of our vision sometimes…” She said tryin to stop her voice from shakin.

“But I knew better…” I said beatin myself up inside.

Stupid…

“We both did…” She said lookin at me. “But you can’t change the past.”

“You can work on the future tho.” I said sittin up and grabbin her hand gently.

I saw her sigh and look at me as if she was searchin my soul…It gave me chills cause it was like she was lookin right in me. She waited for a second and then the moment faded from her eyes.

Damn…

“So you gonna tell me what your news is?” She said slowly slidin her hand out of mine.

“Well if you must know I talked to Stephen Hill.” I said pausin.

“Really?” She said sittin back and raising her eyebrow.

“Yup and he told me I could do the Michael tribute at the awards!” I said waitin for her reaction.

“WHAT! OH MY GOOOOOD CHRIS!” She said jumpin across the table at me.

DAMN WOMAN!

She grabbed a hold of me and squeezed me so tight and kept squealin! She was SO DAMN HAPPY you woulda thought I had just asked her to MARRY ME! She then jumped up from the booth and started jumpin around and then did a  MJ kick and grabbed her crotch! WOW! I couldn’t help but laugh! The few people that were in the diner started starin at us…

“HE GONNA DO THE MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE BITCHES!” She yelled to the other customers.

“Sweets! Woman sit yo ass down!” I said laughin and feelin embarrassed.

“WHAT! Do you know how biiiiig this is? Oh My God!” She said pullin on my shirt as the waiter came over with our food and put it on the table.

“Yes I know…Believe me I am freakin out!” I said tryin to get her death grip off my shirt.

“He bout to do the Michael Jackson tribute on BET…Make sure you watch!” She promo’d to the waiter.

“Wow really! That’s so cool! You’re Chris Brown right?” The young guy asked.

“Yea.” I said nervously waitin for what he would say next.

“Bro I knew it was you…Everybody in the back said it wasn’t but I knew! Oh My God your gonna kill it…You do Michael’s moves better than anyone I have ever seen!” He said gettin excited.

THANKS!

“Well I try…But thanks bro!” I said imitatin him slightly.

“Wow…Hey don’t worry about this… It’s on me…My Boss hates me any way so what’s addin a free meal to it!” He said laughin.

WELP!

“Nah man I wouldn’t want you to get fired…It’s just food…How bout you just make sure you watch the show…And tell ya friends…It’s gonna be crazy!” I advised.

“Ok…I’m there! Before you leave can I get your autograph or a pic bro?” He asked.

“Sure!” I said

“Ok…I gotta go…Oh no disrespect but your girlfriend is hot!” He said lookin over at Sweets and turnin red.

WOW

“Oh I’m n-“

“Thanks Bro!” I said cuttin her off and then winkin at her.

 “No problem!” He said walkin back to the kitchen.

She shook her head and smiled as she sat down. I mean WHAT? She will always be my girl in my eyes…Whenever she get through! We ate and talked over costume idea’s for the show….I wanted everythin to be authentic MJ…I had to make this the most MEMORABLE TRIBUTE TO MJ EVER! It was my redemption…Redemption for bein shut out last year…Redemption for my mistake and It was all gonna be shared with the one person I wanted to be redeemed with the most…Sweets. After we laughed and talked til we were damn near delirious we bounced. I was on my way to take to her car but she passed out on me. So I decided to turn around and head to my house. When I got there I tried to wake her but she was exhausted and snorin. I shook my head and smiled at how even with her mouth wide open she was still so beautiful. I go out and carried her in the house up to her old room. I slipped her J’s off and put the covers over her. I thought by all the movement she would at least open an eye or somethin… but nothin! I sat on the bed and watched her sleep. So peaceful…So beautiful…Just perfect. After abut 15 minutes of just watchin her and feelin like a STRAIGHT STALKER! I laughed at myself and kissed her forehead. I got up and before I could get to the door I heard her speak.

“Stay with me…” She said sleeply.

Damn…

“I’ll see you later…Get some sleep.” I said yellin at myself in my head STAY!

“Mmm…Ok..” She said driftin back out.

“Goodnight Beautiful…” I whispered and left the room.

HAD TO RESPECT HER WISHES

By the time the BET awards rehearsals came I was SHITTIN BRICKS! I had never been more scared to perform in my life! I mean I had did the THRILLER tribute IN FRONT OF MJ! And I still didn’t feel like I felt right then! I got through the rehearsals and was waitin backstage for my cue….What made my nerves worse was Jermaine Jackson told me the family PERSONALLY wanted me to do the tribute to MJ! I swear I wanted to FAINT! I guess Sweets saw how I was scared as hell but tryin to keep my cool and had everybody clear out the trailer so me and her were alone.

“You can do this you know.” She said checkin my white belt from THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL video.

“I’m scared…” I admitted.

“I know…But you doin this for him…But most of all I believe he made this happen for you….When you get out there he is gonna be right with you.” She said lookin up at me and holdin my hand. “It’s destiny.”

I hope so…

“I just don’t know how they gonna react…That shit got my nerves shot!” I confessed.

“Chris…You got this…You hear me…You go out there and show’em your heart…They won’t have a choice but to accept it.” She said so calm placin my fedora on my head and tippin it.

I really hope so…

I felt myself calm down some and I heard the producer call for me in my earpiece…Guess it’s SHOWTIME! But before she could pull away from me I grabbed her face and kissed her lightly….I was in shock when she kissed me back! I held her there til we heard a knock on the door and then the producer came in.

“Chris you got to get into position it’s time!” She said frantically.

“Ok” I said lookin at Sweets on last time.

“You know you the best right?” I said to her.

“I got you.” She said winkin and smilin at me.

“Forever.” I said pullin away winkin back at her and runnin out the door.

TRACKS OF MY TEARS

I had made it through the entire performance…Every step…Precision…Channelin everythin I had studied for 3 days straight…It all came together. I was on autopilot…I didn’t think of anythin…or anybody…It was like the whole auditorium was empty. Just MJ and my heartbeat. I was doin this for my idol…Showin him the proper respect that I felt he deserved…It wasn’t about Chris Brown….It was about payin homage to the KING! I had made it to the end when I heard the music start for MAN IN THE MIRROR …Besides the fact that it was one of my favorite songs…Every word…All the emotion behind it…Just hit home…When I grabbed the mic ….I felt myself break. I didn’t want to and especially not in front of thousands of people but my emotions…Everythin I had been holdin back…All the hate I had faced…The pain I endured because of my mistake…Havin the opportunity to even do this…Poured out of me like a river! I tried to fight through it and keep singin but my body and emotions were doin their on thing! I felt like I was 7 years old cryin for my Daddy.

AFTER SHOCK

Once it was all said and done I felt like I gave my best performance EVER! The crowd gave me a standin ovation and Jermaine thanked me. There was no better feelin than that!  I got backstage and everyone was congratulatin me and tellin me to keep my head up…Of course I was EMBARASSED AS HELL that I had just CRIED on live TV…but FUCK IT!

When I got back to my trailer Momma  and Tina were in tears… I gave Momma the biggest hug and she told me she was proud of me…Once I kissed her on the cheek I saw Sweets lookin at me with tears still streamin down her face. I walked over to her…She shocked me cause she jumped up and wrapped her legs around me and her arms around my neck even tighter. I rocked her as she cried into my neck.

“We’re gonna go baby…Proud of you…Love you.” Momma said with an emotional voice.

“I love you too Momma.” I said tryin to fight my tears again.

Once Mama and Tina left out… Sweets slowly lowered her self down and began to wipe her face. I helped her as she looked up at me.

“You did it…” She said in almost a whisper. “It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

I couldn’t even speak cause the emotions were comin back up so I just grabbed a hold of her and held her tight. This moment…This night was everythin to me…And I was able to share with …the one person that means the most except my Momma…my bestfriend….The love of my life…

“I love you Chris.” She said into my chest.

“I love you too.” I said kissin her forehead.

“Ok…Ok…No more tears.” She said pullin back and wiping her face.

“Yea…I think I did that enough for everybody.” I said laughin lightly.

“We gotta get you ready for you after/ welcome back party!” She said smilin.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I said runnin my hand over my face.

“Oh you in there baby! You’re back!” She said smilin harder.

“Think so?” I asked her.

“Yup…Greatness can not be denied.” She said winkin at me.

The best yo…

“Aight then…Get out of here woman…I gotta change…Time to get fresh!” I said smilin at her.

“Ok I’ll see you in a little bit.” She said walkin to the door.

“Thank you.” I said as she was about to leave.

“Just doin what I do…Now hurry up!” She said walkin out.

I didn’t kno what this night was gonna bring but I did feel it was gonna be great…I felt like I could finally breathe again…I kept runnin back in my mind what Sweets had just said…all I could hope was she was right.

“Greatness can not be denied.”

I aint done yet…

“I’m on some new shit…Chunkin my deuces up…”

(Sweets POV)

 

So over it! I wasn’t gonna try and fight it…I had to face it…Chris was just not gonna accept me not sleepin with him. Truthfully it made me sad…I mean what happened to bein patient…Bein supportive…Bein understandin. I guess those days were gone…It’s like all he had was SEX ON THE BRAIN! I did too! But I had actually got to the point where I was gettin used to NOT havin it! Yea the first 30 days was HELL! But now I was cool. I knew how to handle my own self so I didn’t have to feen for the DICK! I immediately had to get all the thought of my mind…Me and Kev got to the studio and went HAM! I swear all the words were comin out like rapid fire…Kev was feelin it. I could tell that was SO his element…It was refreshin…Reminded me of the days of bein a studio and writin rat with Trey…

TREY

He called me while I was in Miami and asked me to reconsider bein in his video for ALREADY TAKEN. I had turned him down a few months back because I didn’t want to hurt Chris’s feelins and I didn’t feel like bein ATTACKED BY HIS DEVILS….I MEAN ANGELS! He really needed to control them lil heffas! It was getting out of control! But Me and him had got super close again and well FUCK CHRIS’S FEELINS! I mean he didn’t care how I felt while he was havin impromptu photo shoots with his new “MODEL CHICK”….So why should I care! So I told him I would. I flew back to LA after me and Kev’s Studio session and I didn’t even bother sayin goodbye to Chris. Trey offered to pay for my flight and even for me to be in the video and I told him HELL NO! I mean I knew he was just tryin to be professional but I just didn’t need him payin for ANYTHIN! I was doin it out of friendship. He kept badgerin so I let him take me to dinner after we wrapped.

GOD!

“Honey… You aint never gonna stop bein stubborn are you?” He said laughin at me as we sat eatin pizza in the booth.

“Nope!” I said laughin.

“I seeee…Like I wanted to take you to a nice ass restaurant and you want to come to damn Dave and Busters!” He said laughin and showin his dimple.

“What? It’s fun here and you get to eat adult food! You act like I picked Chuck.E Cheese!” I said bitin my pizza.

“We might as well! You ordered pizza!” He said laughin.

“Shut up! They pizza is the shit…Here try it” I said raising the slice to his mouth.

“Nah…Iont want that!” He said holdin his head back.

“Come on don’t be a punk…Just try it…It’s tastes goooood.” I said holdin it up to his lips again.

“Mm Mm…I know what else tastes good tho.” He mumbled and sipped his soda.

SEE!

“Ok…You pushin it now.” I said scootin away from him.

“Whaaat? “ He tried to play innocent.

“You always gotta go there…Stop.” I said wiping my mouth with the napkin.

“Hey can you blame me…I mean today got a nigga reminiscin and shit.” He said lookin over at me then away.

Ok I admit the shoot was fun…And it brought up how we used to be together when…Well I thought I LOVED HIM…But it was all pretend. The kiss I gave him at the end was well a goodbye of sorts….Goodbye to those good times…Hello to our friendship again…

“Trey…Just leave it be…You know those days are over.” I said tryin to let him down gently.

“But why it gotta be…I mean when you kissed me I was so shocked that I almost forgot we was on camera and wanted it to go on longer.” He admitted.

I COULD TELL!

“I was just havin fun…I mean you’ll always have a place in my heart but It just can’t be.” I said feelin a tug at my heart.

WHERE THAT COME FROM?

 “Just havin you touchin me and bein so close like that…Feelin your lips again…” He trailed off and then shook his head.

“Trey just stop.” I said feelin uncomfortable.

“Yea I know…Let it go.” He said sittin back and lookin at me.

PLEASE!

“I love the song tho…and um the other one Can’t Be Friends…Oh and Yo Side Of The Bed…You know I love me some Prince!” I said tryin to distract him.

“Yea I know….All of ‘em bout you.” He confessed and stared out at the people sighin.

Damn…

Why does this keep happenin? Why couldn’t I just have a male bestfriend that wasn’t tryin to get with me! I mean the guilt was a BEAST! But I knew it was best for me and Trey to never try to be anything more than friends EVER AGAIN!

“Really…You never told me that.” I said sippin on my soda and REALLY FEELIN UNCOMFORTABLE!

“What for…I mean not like they was gonna make you come runnin back to me…Just had to get that shit off my heart…I’m good tho.” He said sittin back and lookin sad.

Fuck…

I was happy when I felt my phone vibrate. I checked it and it was a text: KEV.

KEV: You comin to the studio. I’m rockin alone.

I was lovin his work ethic…I mean he literally lived in the studio…well even more now that him and his babymama broke up…Guess he it was the only thing keepin him sane til his baby girl was born.

ME: Yup! Be there in 15.

I looked over at Trey who was scrollin threw his phone as well. After this heavy conversation…It was DEFINITELY TIME TO GO!

“Well I gotta bounce…Studio time.” I said standin up.

“Oh word…Think I could sit in?” He asked still distracted by his phone.

“Nah…Think I’m goin it alone…But thank you for this lovely meal and fun day…I’ll call you tomorrow.” I said as he stood up and put his phone away.

 “Aight Beautiful.” He said wrappin his arms around me.

UH… WHAT ARE YOU DOIN???

“I really do love you Helena.” He said lookin down in my eyes.

“I know…” I said feelin a flutter.

WHAT WAS THAT!

Before I could pull away he leaned down and kissed me. Lightly at first and then harder. I was so thrown off…I couldn’t move! I wasn’t tryin to kiss him back but I guess I got causght up in the moment and before I knew it our tongues were fightin each other for what seemed like forever! It took him slidin his hands down to my ass that snapped me out of it and I pulled away!

“Whoa.” I said holdin my hand up to my mouth and breathin heavy.

“Yea…Shit girl…” He said breathin heavy too.

I GOTTA GO!

“Trey…I gotta….I gotta go!” I said turnin and damn near runnin out of the place!

WHAT THE HELL????

My heart was racin and well I couldn’t believe it but I was WET! SHIIIIT! No…No…No..NO! That did NOT just happen…I mean I know I am weak as hell right now and well any little affection will have me over the edge but it was TREY! NO! HEEEELLLL NO! I jumped in my Lambo and speed off to the studio! This was not supposed to happen EVER. Just didn’t feel right…

STUDIO FLOW

Once I got to the studio Me and Kev got start on this demo I was doin for Keri over Polow’s beat….It was called Toy Soldier…After an hour Seven and  his singer friend Treasure came and helped me do background vocals…It was perfect because Treasure was actually Keri’s background singer so she knew her harmonies! As I created the track the words just began to flow…All the pain…All the things I wished I could yell to HIS face…Just came out! After bein hounded by Kev and Seven to lay down the vocals myself… I reluctantly went in the booth and began:

“You told me that our love would keep marchin on

Hoorah…Hoorah

You told me that our love was mighty strong

Hoorah…Hoorah

And yes I believed you cause you were my baby

Why would I doubt you when you said you loved me

But I didn’t know that you were the enemy”

I stopped and told Kev to stop the track because I was startin to get emotional…I didn’t know how much I had really been bottlin up about my situation with HIM. And it was makin my heart ache.

“You wanna stop?” Kev said through the intercom.

“No…No…Go ahead.” I said wiping my face.

He started the track back up and I ran through in my head what I wanted to say next.

“ Boy the only one that made me cry

Is you

And the only one I had to fight

Is you

And it was you who told me”

“He said

That I will never have to fight again

He said

That I will never have cry again

He said he been to the battlefield

My heart was safe with him

All my trust to give it to him

So I guess I fell in love

With a toy soldier.”

I was pourin every emotion I had into it…I only wished…Wished HE could hear it…Study it…Feel every word.

“You told me that you would take care of me

You lied…You lied

You told me that you was the best for me

You lied…You lied

Cause you came up empty

I feel like you tricked me

Everythin you said you’d give me

You couldn’t give me”

I had to take a moment…The tears were flowin so heavy now…But I was determined to push on…

“I let down my guard

Cause you was my guard

But who protects me now

Cause I gave you my heart

And you tore it apart

Ooo you let me down

Oh Baby”

“He said

That I will never have to fight again

He said

That I will never have cry again

He said he been to the battlefield

My heart was safe with him

All my trust to give it to him

So I guess I fell in love

With a toy soldier.”

“I gave all of my love to HIM

 Hoorah..Hoorah..

I gave all my love to HIM

 Hoorah..Hoorah”

I finished my adlibs and collapsed on the floor of the booth. I couldn’t believe how much hurt I still had inside…I yearned for US. I mourned for what WE used to be…. I sat there cryin as I heard the booth door open slowly. I didn’t know long I had been on the floor but I could bring myself to move.

“You ok?” I heard Kev say hesitantly closin the door.

I could say anything I just looked up at him. I could literally see him hurt for me. Or maybe it was cause he understood the same since of loss…We had talked about how he couldn’t believe things were finally lookin up for him and it seemed like the minute it did him and his ex feel apart. It was like she was all for him when he was broke but now that he was finally pursuin his dream and they were expectin their child…She was his biggest hater! I didn’t UNDERSTAND???

“I…I..” I could form the words.

He sighed deeply and came and sat right next to me. After a few minutes of sittin in silence he began to hum and then sing:

 

“Feels like I just won the lotto…I found a one and a million you

God made you from the earth

And he broke the mold

There will never be another you

Never be another you…”

I looked up at him like I was seein and hearin him for the first time. His voice was so beautiful and the words were so heartfelt. He placed his arm around me and continued:

“I’m a firm believer

In never sayin never

But I can say I’ll never find another you

They can say whatever

Man it don’t even matter

Cause I know our love is true”

He finished his run and looked down at me. I could feel my heart thumpin out of my chest and his too. I don’t know if I had been tryin to ignore it for so long…Or Me feelin lonely at the moment or it was the hurt…But when our lips touched it was like FIREWORKS! His lips were so soft and his kiss was so gentle…He never tried to force it…it was like perfect harmony. It felt so good my toes began to curl as he kissed me deeper. And just as gently as it started he slowly pulled away. I was breatheless still sittin there with my eyes closed. I felt him take his arm from around me and I opened them.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” He said like he was thinkin out loud.

I began to look at my nails…I was froze from shock…I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKED IT! I screamed to myself in my head.

“Don’t worry about B…I wont say anythin..” I said just above a whisper.

I was thrown off when laughed lightly to himself and then looked at me.

WHAT SO FUNNY?

“It’s not even about him…Although that’s part of it but I shouldn’t have done that cause I know you don’t wanna have sex right now…I just tempted you and I’m sorry.” He said with the most sincere voice and eyes.

OH MY GOD!

I couldn’t breathe! HE GOT IT! He actually was respectin my decision! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN HIDIN!!!! I screamed in my head! I couldn’t stop lookin at him…He was just….Just…WHY THE HELL DID I HAVE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO CHRIIIIIISS!!! UGGH! I immediately got irritated! It was all my fault….If I hadn’t brought him to Chris I coulda…I coulda…I coulda found love by now.

“Well it’s cool…I’m…I’m gonna go.” I said pullin myself off the floor.

“Sweets wait…” He said stand up in front of me.

“Wha-“

Before I could get it out he kissed me softly again. DAMN! He kissed me a little longer and then stepped back.

WHOA!

“I just had to feel them one last time.” He said lookin away.

I couldn’t help but smile. He had actually lifted my spirits and for that I was thankful.

“I did too.” I said quietly.

“Word?” He said lookin up at me.

“Yea.” I said fellin shivers.

I WANT YOU!

“Damn..” He said shakin his head.

“Yea…Damn..”

He then walked past me and opened the door for me.

“After you Ms. Sweetheart.” He said smiling.

“Sweetheart Huh?” I said raising my eyebrow to the name.

“A Sweetheart is what you aaare” He sang in an island accent.

I couldn’t help but blush and giggle. WHAT IS HE DOIN TO ME????

“Ok…Ok…I can dig that…You should make that into a song.” I said walkin past him out the booth.

“Already have.” He said makin me turn and look at him.

“What?” I said in shock.

“You’re a beautiful inspiration Ms. Sweets.” He said winkin at me.

OH MY FUCKIN GOD!!!

I couldn’t believe it….Did he just say he writes about ME??? I couldn’t do anything but smile even harder. WHOA! I grabbed my purse and he walked me to my car. It was 3 am and I really needed my sleep.

“You gonna be alright?” He asked sweetly closing my door.

“Yea..I’m fine…Hey Kev.” I said before he could walk away.

“Yea?” He said

“Thank you.” I said

“I told you if you need anythin…I mean anythin you can just ask me…I’m right here.” He said sincerely.

I felt my heart flutter again…It was so refreshin because I knew he didn’t have an angle…didn’t have an agenda…He just wasn’t gonna cross that line til….Til…Til I said the word.

“Ok.” Was all I said.

“Ok Goodnight…See you tomorrow.” He said walkin back to the studio.

I was all smiles as I started my Lambo…I was about to pull off when I saw my phone lightin up. I picked it up and checked it: B. I couldn’t help but sigh and close my eyes. Here I was floatin on cloud nine because I had just had the most beautiful moment with…with HIS bestfriend. But this time I didn’t feel guilty…I didn’t feel anxious to confess…It…It felt right. What a day. I sighed deeply and answered…

“Hey”

“Can I see you?”

“Not tonight…”

Make me wanna say bye bye…Say bye bye…

“The fame don’t mean nothin…Neither does the money…I just want my friend…Right here with me…”

(Chris POV)

 

I couldn’t believe she punked me again…This was gettin ridiculous! Either she had a new nigga or her ass had went from Bi to full Lesi! I mean COME ON! I was pissed! There I was fuuucked up with a ROCK HARD DICK! Just lookin stupid as she walked away…I wanted to chase her but well I had a situation in my pants so I let her walk. At that point I was totally confused…I mean I don’t know if she’s playin a game or if she was really over me. But what I did know is GAWD DAMMIT I WANTED IT SOME!!! I wasn’t havin this shit….I wanted an explaination!! And she was gonna give me one and no more of this AVOIDIN ME shit either!

NYC

After a VERY FRUSTRATIN night alone…I flew out to NY for two weeks to work on some tracks for my new album. YEA I NEVER STOP!! Sweets had Dance 1 business to handle in Miami so she couldn’t come…Which actually sucked cause I was gonna CORNER HER ASS and make her admit why she keep punkin me! But it was fine…I was gonna play it cool cause if there was one thing I knew…She could only hold out so long! But besides that…I really did miss her…I mean this was the first time we had both been single at the same time! I don’t know maybe that was what was makin me want to try hard…Cause I didn’t want to regret not openin that door…Takin that chance…Then we both be thinkin what if. But until she came around…I was gonna see what Ms. Jasmine was all about.

MODELS

I met Jasmine awhile back at Runyon with Tey. She was in town for a photo shoot…And I was immediately blown away by how BEAUTIFUL she was! I mean just…DAMN! She seemed really sweet…Had a tomeboy side…Funny…The whole package! Not to mention she had a body that was sick… legs for days…and that ASS! Yea I wanted to grab dat! But what almost hypnotized me was her EYES! Man they was like lookin into tropical blue water! SHIT! I had to get to know her! It was weird…like I was drawn to her…Felt like when I met…OK…OK I know what everybody thinkin. Yes she looks some what like SHAWTY…But they really didn’t in my eyes…Yea some features but Jasmine had a whole other type of beauty about her that I had to have! The homies said I was relivin shit but I SWEAR IT WASN’T CAUSE SHE LOOKED LIKE SHAWTY! I just thought she was sexy! We had been talkin back and forth for months…You know cool friend shit…Then a few weeks ago she admitted that she wanted to be MORE THAN FRIENDS… So now that I wasn’t with Draya…And Sweets was still BLOWIN ME OFF! I figured why not…but I wanted to REALLY get to know her first you know…Hang out…Feel her out before I FEEL HER! HA!

So far she was cool til she showed her attitude at the club…That made me put my guard up! But she told me it was cause it just wasn’t her scene…She was only 19 and well partyin and gettin fucked up wasn’t her priority right now. That made me dig her…I mean chicks her age was all about partyin…But she was focused…She had her modelin career goin strong and was plannin on relocatin from NY to LA so she could branch out in that market. I LOVED IT! Nothin better than I focused woman! Everythin seemed to fall into place perfectly…Well except her lettin me know she didn’t care for me to have too many females around…Friends or Not! And that well was A PROBLEM! I mean we wasn’t even in a relationship yet and she already was tryin to regulate! UH NO! I was gonna introduce her to Sweets that night but I could read that she was not likin me surrounded by all of them. So to keep a possible confrontation down I just said fuck it…We friends…You gotta fall back with all that…YOU DON’T RUN THIS! So yea I was really really really gonna take it slow…

“So how you and the look-a-like doin?” Moe said rollin her eyes.

“Pssh…Don’t start that shit!” I said playin Mijo on the game.

“You know damn well you only fuckin with her cause she look like Rob!” Mijo said laughin with Keeis.

HERE WE GO!

“Told ya’ll that aint got nothin to do with it…So chill out wit dat shit.” I said scorin on him. “Won dat!”

“Nigga you cheatin! But yea the fuck right!” Mijo said resettin the game.

I shook my head and got up…I was tired of this convo already! I was also irritated cause Sweets told me she was gonna be flyin in tonight but said she got delayed…I really wanted to see her…I mean hangin out with Jas was cool but I wasn’t tryin to go there just yet and well she was gettin attached! Guess my mind was still on Sweets. I grabbed a drink and sat back down…Just then we heard the buzzer. Keeis went and let Tey and Jas up. When she walked in she made me do a double take cause she had on jeans a snapback and was even rockin them 6’s! DAMN! I had barely seen her dressed down so it was definitely a turn on…Hmmm…She just might get it tonight! HA!

“What up Ya’ll” Tey said walkin over and sittin down.

“What up!” We all said.

“Hey you guys.” Jas said casually.

“What up.” They all said.

“Hey  Chris.” She said smiling hard at me as I got up and gave her a hug.

“Hey…I was wonderin when ya’ll was gonna get here.” I said letting her sit next to me.

“Yea…We woulda been her if she wouldn’t have change a thousand times!” Tey said blastin her out.

“Tey! Oh My God…I just couldn’t make up my mind which J’s to wear.” She said shyly.

“Damn…Well you picked the right ones.” I said reachin down and runnin my finger acrossed them.

“Thanks! Tryin to step my Jordan game up…I been slackin.” She said smiling at me again.

“Aww shit…She tryin to win your heart bro.” Tey said laughin.

Everybody giggled except Moe. OH GOD!

“Claim to be a Jordan head cause you wear them…Not to impress…That’s some fake shit!” Moe fired.

DAMN!

“Hell Yeah.” Keeis said dappin Moe and Mijo.

I could see Jas whole attitude change as she turned toward Moe…UH OH!

You don’t want it tho…

“I ain’t gotta impress nobody…When you can say you own 1’s from ‘84 and signed by MJ himself then we will talk about how much of a Jordan head I really am!” She fired.

WELP!

I was in pure shock! She actually handled herself! Everybody looked at her then at Moe who nodded her head.

“Word! Well til I see’em you still in question.” Moe came back.

I saw Jas grab her phone and scroll threw it then get up and hand it to Moe. Moe looked at the phone and her eyes got big.

WELP!

“OH SHIT!” Moe said handin the phone to Keeis as Mijo looked.

“Dats the shit!” Keeis said.

“Shit…She alright by me then!” Mijo said sittin back.

“Let me see!” I said lookin at the phone. “DAMN! I gotta see this in person!”

“Not a problem!” She said smiling and puttin her phone away.

Well I guess it was safe to say she was in there…For the next hour we all chopped it up…cracked jokes…played the game and she fit right in! I could actually see her around all the time. And that is what shook me…I didn’t know what it was but the whole thing began to make me have this weird feelin at the bottom of my stomach…almost like she was too good to be true! I mean I know that was a unfair judgement cause she hadn’t done anythin but catch an attitude before…but I couldn’t explain it…and it was freakin me out! I shook my thoughts off as we heard the buzzer go off again…WHO THE HELL IS THAT??

Keeis went over and answered….It was SWEETS! Damn…. OH NOW YOU WANNA SURPRISE A NIGGA! GREAT! I jumped up…Not even sure why…I mean for some reason I felt like I had just got busted by Momma! I didn’t have a reason to be nervous but I was…I mean I had been avoidin introducin her and Jas…Cause well EVERYBODY KNOWS I WANT SWEETS BACK! And if she even picked up the slightest hint I’m feelin Jasmine….She will SHUT ME OUT FOR GOOD! OH HELL NO…CAN’T HAVE THAT! I had to think fast cause she was at the door so I went to the kitchen and pretended to get some more food…Just then I felt stupid cause I still had a full plate on the table where I was sittin! SHIIIT! I saw her come in but then I noticed…K-MAC WAS RIGHT BEHIND HER!

WHAT?

Now I have to admit it made me feel a certain type of way….Look I’m not stupid and I KNOW for a fact that this nigga been feelin her since before we started workin together….He would be all cheesy and always takin off his damn shirt in front of her! AYE… AYE…THAT’S MY JOB BUDDY BACK THE FUCK UP! And I swear some of the songs we wrote had to do with her too! I mean I tried ignorin it for a longtime…but I had definitely started watchin cause well Sweets was single and Kev had just broke up with his babymama even tho their babygirl was due in like two months! I really couldn’t blame him for that tho cause they didn’t get along for shit… But he was tryin to make it work for his daughter…Guess he finally came to the conclusion that he didn’t have to be with her to be in his daughter’s life. Awwwww……Right? NO! Cause I knew that’s what Sweets was gonna think and fall for him…Then it be some “It just happened” shit again like she did with TREY! HELL NAH!  And he worked for me! Nah….Not goin down bro!

“What the fuck ya’ll doin here? Together?” I emphasized comin out the kitchen.

“Oh…Hey B!” Sweets said with a nervous laugh.

HMMM.

“What up Kev….Get lost?” I asked him subtly.

“Nah…Ran into Sweets in my Miami…Was bout to fly back home and well she asked me to come here so we could write…Is that a problem?” He said raising his eyebrow.

YEAH!

“Nah not a problem…Just as long as we on the same page.” I said clenchin my jaw.

“Damn loosin up nigga…It aint like that!” He said laughin lightly and then lookin around the room and stoppin on Jas who was lookin Sweets and Kev up and down.

I had almost forgotten Jas was sittin there….But then I looked at Sweets and realized her mouth was damn near open lookin at Jas….She quickly closed it and looked over at Kev and then clutched her purse nervously.

WHAT IS UP?

“So you wasn’t gonna let me know you made it.” I finally said walkin over to her.

“Well…it was supposed to be a….surprise but..” She said lookin at Jas and then at Kev. again.

WHAT IS IT???

 “Well I’m surprised…So why ya’ll just standin there you can sit down.” I said casually as I took my seat next to Jas.

“I’m bout to smash me some food…” Kev said “You want anythin?” He said to Sweets.

“Nah…Nah…I’m good.” She said

“You need to eat somethin…I mean you aint ate since earlier.” He said gently.

YOU KNOW WHAT!!!

“Can I talk to you?” I said to her jumpin up as I saw Jas’s glare shoot up at me.

“Yea what’s up?” She said lookin disappointed.

“Come on.” I said walkin towards my back room.

I heard Jas smack her lips but at this point I could really careless cause when it came down to it… Sweets would always come first…And well I needed to know WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOIN ON BETWEEN THEM! Sweets followed me to the room. I closed the door as she went and sat on the bed.

“So what’s goin on?” I asked bluntly.

“What you mean?” She said not lookin at me.

“Between you and K-mac?” I asked.

“You heard the man…It aint like that…But I got a question.” She fired back.

HERE WE GO

“Ch…What?” I said clenchin my jaw.

“So you and Jasmine together now?” She asked lookin me dead in my eyes.

“No…We just chillin.” I said bluntly.

SO THERE!

“Well all ya lil TEAMBREEZY’s don’t seem to think so after ya’ll lil photoshoot you tweeted and shoppin ya’ll been doin!” She said rollin her eyes.

Damn…

“What?” I played stupid cause I knew I deleted the pics.

“Don’t play dumb Chris…Yea they retweet everythin you do…”I love her eyes” and “Ummm who is this” …Yea I seen the shit when I landed.” She said shakin her head.

DAAAMN TEAMBREEZY!

“But I deleted that shit tho.” I said tryin to not crash and burn!

“Yea well it’s still out there and all over the blogs…Glad I was the last to know…I mean you still aint even introduced us…I’m not Draya…I aint gonna make a scene!” She said gettin up.

“Man look I told you …We not together….We just been hangin out…That’s all!” I said frustrated.

“Whateva..…And to think I almost gave i…uggh…Even had Kevin tellin me to stop bullshittin with you…Pssh…I’m goin to the studio.” She said shakin her head and walkin towards the door.

ALMOST GAVE WHAT?????

“Wait…No…Just wait…I swear I haven’t even touched her!” I said tryin to block her from leavin.

“Well…She look like she bout tired of that…So you do ya thing…I gotta go.” She said tryin to get around me.

NOOOOOOO!

“Sweets…don’t go for real look…Yea I like her…She really cool but I aint did ANYTHING with her…Not even a kiss…I’m serious!” I pleaded.

“B…No…I’m just gonna go…You have fun spendin time…I don’t know why I even came.” She said shakin her head again and still tryin to get around me.

STOP!

“Sweets…Sweets…Look at me…Look at me.” I said liftin her face up to mine.

“What.” She said finally lookin.

“You miss me?” I said gettin closer to her.

“B…”

“Sweets…Cut the shit!” I said gettin frustrated by this dance. “Do you miss me?”

If she say yes…JAS IS GONE!

“Ye-Yes…But I gotta tell you somethin.” She said hesitatin.

I don’t even care right now….

All I wanted to do was pick her up…Slam her on that bed and fuck the shit out her! I slid my hands around her waist and kissed her lightly on her neck. I felt her shake…YEEEAH SHE NEEDED THIS JUST AS BAD AS I DO! I started suckin on her neck harder as she moaned and put her hands on my chest. I tried to walk her away from the door to the bed but she pulled back.

WHAAAT NOW!!!

“B I can’t do this…Im..Im.”

PLEASE DON’T SAY PREGNANT!

“Your what…” I said tryin to kiss her but she moved again. DAMMIT!

“Im celebate ok!” She said backin all the way up.

WHAT THE FUCK?

“You celebate…Pssh…Quit playin.” I said goin back towards her.

“I’m not playin…That’s why…I kept tellin you no.” She confessed.

AW HELL!

“Are you serious!” I said in shock.

“Yes!” She said backin up some more.

FUCK MY LIFE!

I ran my hands over my face…I was frustrated as hell. THIS HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE! I mean she just said she had planned on givin it up! I mean how celebate are you?

“So when did you decide all this.” I said tryin to make MONSTA go back to sleep!

“Like a month and a half ago.” She said playin with her fingers.

“Maaan ok…That’s cool.” I said finally givin up.

I HAVE HAD IT! It’s like what I gotta do? She just kept throwin up every roadblock possible to stop me from gettin to her! FINE! Just fine…I wasn’t gonna keep beggin for this shit…If she wanted to go there in the future…She was gonna have to come to me! I GOT OTHER SHIT TO DO!

“Really.” She said lookin at me curiously.

“Yup! Look um I gotta get Jas home so uh…If you gonna stay or whatever that’s cool.” I said puttin on a stone face and walkin to the door.

“Damn…well ok.” She said confused.

“Aight” I said walkin out the room.

I’m over this shit…It was definitely time for her to work out her issues….But what I did know was I got this sexy ass model chick that well wanted me to TAKE HER DOWN…and I CAN’T WAIT NO MORE! So Sweets was just gonna have to deal…Tired of the mind games!

 

 

“But B.” She said as I walked on into the livin room.

“Hey you ready to go.” I said to Jasmine who looked beyond pissed.

“Oh are your through with your lil friend?” She asked.

AW SHIT!

“Don’t be like that.” I said smoothly and smiled.

“What do you mean…That was rude and you still haven’t introduced me to her!” She fired off as I saw Sweets walk out from the room.

HELP ME…HELP ME…SHOOT ME OR SOMETHIN!

“Look…Jasmine this is my…My bestfriend Sweets…Sweets this is Jasmine.” I said even more frustrated now.

“Bestfriend?” Moe and Tey said together.

“Yeah bestfriend.” I fired a glare at them.

Jas stood up as Sweets glared at me hard…I was over it… I shot her a look back of WHAT? I mean If you don’t want me then fine. I don’t have to hold back with Jas no more…FUCK IT!

“Well it’s nice to finally get introduced to you…Chris has told me a lot about you.” Jas said to Sweets.

I could see Sweets was on fire…But what could she say? I told her me and Jas was just friends…Hell most of the time Sweets was all I talked about…I know…But hey I was honest. It’s just now I could see Jas had just been playin it cool so that she could size her up for herself.

“Well I wish I could say he told me all about you….But it’s nice to finally meet you.” Sweets said takin her glare off me and clutchin her purse.

Jas looked over at me…So I shot her a look of WHAT? Sweets never asked for details! So I didn’t volunteer any.

“Kev you ready to go? I was gonna catch a cab to the studio.” Sweets said quickly to Kevin.

I SEE HOW IT IS!

“Uh…Yea…” Kev said gettin up slowly and lookin at me. “Aight Breezy…Catch up with ya’ll later.”

“Aight.” I said keepin my cool.

Sweets quickly turned and went towards the door. I have to admit I was definitely IRRITATED by this whole situation. I mean she flew ALL the way here just to possibly give me some…Then tell me no…Then tell me she celebate and then LEAVE WITH KEV! FINE! If she was tryin to make me jealous or make me chase her…It wasn’t gonna work! I can play this game way better than she ever dreamed….LIKE I SAID GAME ON! If she aint gonna be thinkin bout me…Then I ain’t gonna be thinkin bout her…

“Aight ya’ll” She said before she walked out the door.

“Aight Sis!” Everybody said.

I turned to Jas after they left out. Time to take this to next level…Shit what I look like not hittin that!

“You ready.”

Don’t hate the playa…

“If your leavin the club…Shawty hurry up…So we can get this party started…”

(Sweets POV)

When I closed the door to my room I SCREAMED!!AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! This was drivin me crazy! I was tryin my hardest not to just go runnin back to Chris. I mean every single time I did… It went horribly WRONG! Why couldn’t I just be FRIENDS with him and not be ATTRACTED? I mean is that so HARD! Well obviously it is. Why couldn’t he just stay behind the friend line…Turn ugly to me and that be that! I mean I was able to do it with TREY! Me and Trey were actually back to where we were before we got together! I actually enjoyed hangin out with him and he never tries anythin anymore. Well other than still profess that he is in love with me but Psssh!…It’s like old sweet bestfriend Trey was back! Which I thought would never be seen again! He even THINKS BEFORE HE SPEAKS AROUND ME! But Chris…Chris…I just can’t seem to shake that damn pull that I’m startin to hate! It’s like he could brush my hair off my shoulder innocently and BAM! I’m back to wantin him! NO! It had only been a week since he broke up with Draya…I couldn’t just go jump on the dick! Well I could…Cause he’s only four doors down and I know he probably aint got no boxers on and I could just sneak some surprise head up on hi- NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

SUCKS

Now I really couldn’t sleep….I was so mad at myself for not just goin through with it…But I knew that this was the best way for now…DON’T COMPLICATE THINGS WITH SEX! I had been readin this book that would help me work out my issues in relationships and one of the chapters said that rushin into sex would only doom a relationship. Chris didn’t know it but I was now celebate! I wasn’t goin to tell him because I knew he would make it his mission to make sure I WASN’T ANYMORE! I mean I was hopin on down the line we could consider a relationship but right now I had to separate our friendship from lust! SO NO MONSTA FOR ME!

WOOOSAH!

After a whole day of Chris havin an OBVIOUS ATTITUDE about not gettin any…He finally came around. I knew he would corner me again so I made it a point to never be ALONE with him NO MATTER WHAT! No more late night talks…No more late night sessions in his studio…No more “Hey come chill with me”….NOTHIN! I knew he had caught on to me avoidin him…But he never made a big deal. He mostly floated around me respectin my space. Which was actually refreshin….I mean I thought it was gonna be a lot harder to get him to back off….but it’s  like he came to terms with it. After a few days we had to head back to LA to shoot No Bullshit. Now I had already braced myself for it. But when I actually saw the treatments…MY MOUTH DROPPED! IT WAS DAMN NEAR A PORNO! I mean the song was pure sex anyway so addin the visuals too it would have any woman squirmin in her seat! HA!

WOOO SHIT!

I tried hard not to think about the fact that Chris was gonna be damn near fuckin another girl in front of me ALL DAY! I figured I would keep myself busy in the wardrobe trailer so that I wouldn’t have to be on set. After the first 6 hours I was bored as hell…But you couldn’t pay me to go to that set! UH UH…it had been almost a month of NO SEX and I knew once I looked at the LIVE PORNO it was gonna be a wrap! By lunch time I finally worked my way to the kraft table and was happy to see Kevin!

“Hey I didn’t know you was here!” He said givin me the biggest hug and showin his dimples.

DAMN!

“Yea…Yea been in the trailer…You know organizin and  re-organizin.” I said not tryin to look at him.

“Damn it’s been almost 7 hours…Everythin in there probably color coordinated!” He said laughin.

“Sad…But it is.” I said laughin and lookin at him then away.

SHIT!

“Well why don’t you come to the set then? You gotta be bored as hell.” He said grabbin a water and handin me one.

 “Yea I am…But once you seen a freaky video you’ve seen them all…I’m alittle over it.” I said nonchalantly.

“Aww it’s not as bad as you think…Colin makin it tasteful…Well tasteful as it can be.” He said laughin showin his dimple.

“Well I might come out for the dance scenes…He shootin that when it gets dark right?” I said takin in his flawless skin.

MMMM.

“Uh…Yea I think so.” He said lookin at me like he was studyin me.

WHAT?

“Ok…Ok…I’ll come over then.” I said feelin awkward so I picked up my salad.

“Aight see you then…You look gorgeous by the way.” He said winkin and walkin off.

WHOA!

I felt chills run down my back for some damn reason. GET IT TOGETHER HELENA!! There was always a small mutual attraction between me and Kevin…But we both dared not speak on it plus his girlfriend was now his soon to be mother of his child. Chris and Kevin had now got super close…So me even thinkin of gettin with him was like me gettin with Shad! OUT OF THE QUESTION! There somethings that have to be left alone…And he was one of them…even if my BODY didn’t want to! THIS CELEBACY & LOYALTY SHIT SUCKS! Once it got dark I headed over to the set. I sat there for another hour watchin Chris kill his dance routine and let me say it was definitely SEX…I mean SEXY! HA! Once the shoot wrapped…It was time for the afterparty of sorts. I got to the club with Janina and Xena first and was there for an hour when Janina was approached by some of her friends. In the group was this tall, smooth, brown skinned guy that looked sooo familiar. He immediately intrigued me because he was kinda just observin. And once I finished my drink…He finally approached me…

“How you doin.” Sexy said.

“I’m good and you.” I said calmly.

“My name is Sterling and yours.” He said cooly.

“Helena.” I said as he held his hand out to me.

“It’s nice meetin you Helena…So you enjoyin yaself?….Cause it seems kinda eh in here.” He said lookin around.

“Well it’s still early…So it might get better.” I said smilin at him.

“Glad you got such a positive outlook…Cause I was about to bounce…But guess I could stay now that I finally talked to you.” He said smilin back.

BEAUTIFUL SMILE!

“Yea see if you woulda left we wouldn’t be havin this corny ass formal conversation.” I said sarcastiacally and laughin lightly.

“I know right! Bein all proper…So how are your stocks and bonds doin?” He said laughin.

WOW HE CORNY TOO!
“There doin well everythin is in the black.” I said laughin more.

“Wow… Beautiful and can crack corny jokes…You the whole package huh?” He said relaxin even more.

“I’m just me…Aint nothin better than a corny joke!” I said smilin harder.

“You got that right…So uh…Let me get the usuals out… Are you single?….You got a man but not really?…Got a stalker ex that gonna jump out from the bushes if we leave together?…Do you have any kids?…and hows your credit?” He said waitin for my answers.

I LIKE HIM!

 “Well alright…Yes…Kinda Sorta…Probably…Only on the weekends…and I might need some help!” I said saracastically.

“Oh Shit!” He said laughin hard.

We both laughed…I couldn’t help but notice his laugh and dimple…He also had the prettiest brown eyes. He just seemed like a regular guy… Which for me was definitely different! Hmmmm.

 “You like that huh?…Yea I’m quick with it!” I said laughin.

“Wow…That was good! So I’m guessin the only true part is that your single?” He said raising his eyebrow.

YEEEEESSS!!!

“You guessed right.” I said putting my glass on the table.

“Cool…Cool…So am I…No Kids and no damn babymama either!” He said with a slight accent.

HE NOT FROM LA! YEEEEESSS!

“Those are always a plus! So where you from Mr. Sterling?” I asked.

“Oh you caught that…I’m originally from Chicago…Been her for a year for work…You from here…I hear a little southern-eastcoast accent…If that’s even possible!” He said putting his glass down.

AND OBSERVANT! WET!!

“You’re actually dead on….I was born here but grew up mostly in Atlanta and New York.” I said feelin my phone vibrate in my pocketbook.

“Ok…Ok…I can dig that! Cause man these straight LA girls is too Hollywood for me…I need somebody that has actually ate some collord greens and cornbread!” He said laughin .

 I CAN MAKE’EM TOO! HA!

“Oh Hell Yeah! And some grits…Shit now I wanna go home and cook.” I said throwin it out there. WHAT?

“WORD! Don’t play! I’ll be the stalker in the bushes jumpin out for a plate of food like STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN!” He said bein goofy and loud!

Damn…He remind of…

I was lovin our chemistry it was so causal…Like I had known him forever…I was also lovin that he wasn’t hittin on me! DAMN! I aint had this type of convo since….

“See nah that will get you shot! You from Chicago…You know you don’t go jumpin out on people!” I said pattin his arm lightly as I laughed.

“You right! But for some real ass soul food…I’ll take that damn bullet!” He said getting closer.

Ooo SHIT!

“You crazy!” I said feelin my phone vibrate again. GO AWAY!

“So Ms. Helena you got a number…I would love to crack some more jokes with you.” He said sweetly.

I was about to answer when his friend came and whispered something in his ear. I watched as his expression changed slightly. WHAT??? He then looked down at me and I could see the slight disappointment in his eyes. WHAAAAT???

“Aye uh…I gotta go but it was nice meetin you…You stay beautiful…Honey…See you around.”

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

“Whoa…Wait! How you know my name is Honey?” I said feelin a flame in my stomach.

“You the homie Trey’s ex aint you?” Sterling’s homie chimed in.

NIGGA WAS I TALKIN TO YOU!

“So!” I said with an attitude.

“Well…He can’t be fuckin with you…That’s his nigga!” The HATER SAID!

THE FUCK?

“Um…Trey don’t own me…I am single and that was 2 and half years ago!” I fired back.

“Well babygirl…Even if it was 10 years ago he can’t fuck wit it…It’s a loyalty thing…Somethin you have a problem with.” The hater said as Sterling watched it all in shock.

“Fuck you mean by that?” I fired.

WHO ARE YOU?

“You know….Wasn’t you with Chris Brown too?” He smirked.

SHIIIIT!

“And your point?” I said ready to sock his ugly ass in the mouth for tellin my business.

“Whoa…Whoa…You was with the homie Chris too?” Sterling finally spoke up.

THE HOMIE? OH GOD!

“Me and Chris are bestfriends…” I lied.

“Bestfriends that was together off and on forever!” The Hater said as Xena walked over.

“NIGGA WHY YOU ALL IN MY FUCKIN BUSINESS!” I finally yelled.

“Cause you a groupie bitch!” The hater said getting closer.

NIGGA FUCK YOU!

I didn’t even think I just swung! I hit his ass dead in the nose. I swung 3 more times as he tried to lunge for me but Xena and Sterling got in between us…I kept tryin to hit the Hater but connected with Sterling’s head.  OOPS! Sterling got pissed and started pushin THE HATER back.

“NIGGA WHAT THE FUCK YOU BOUT TO DO!” I heard him check The Hater.

“Steelo… Man you iont even know that bitch!” The hater said pushin him back.

WHOA!

“RICO…IF DON’T WANNA GET YA ASS BEAT YOU BETTA GET THE FUCK ON!” He said with his accent gettin thicker.

MMMMM.

“FUCK YOU WANNA DO STEELO!” The Hater said squarin up with Sterling.

Before Sterling could respond…Security came and basically manhandled them both out of the VIP and the club! Damn…I felt bad cause he got kicked out tryin to defend me and I was also irritated cause I DIDN’T GET HIS DAMN NUMBER! DAMN! I was still pissed and buzzin so right now I was a mixture of ANGRY and HORNY! FUCK! I mean he was so perfect…and just had to have a hatin ass homeboy! I was really pissed cause the hater made me look like I was some groupie bitch and that is FAAAAR FROM THE TRUTH! And how he Trey’s friend? I aint never seen or heard of him! I was definitely gonna find out!

“Girl was that nigga tryin to fight you?” Xena asked now with Nina standin next to her.

“I don’t know…All I know is he was hatin like hell to Sterling.” I said feelin my phone again.

“Sterling?” Nina asked.

“Sterling…You know Steelo…The fresh meat from Chicago…work over there at the Fantasy Factory.” Xena blurted out.

Fantasy Factory?

“Oh yeah! Steelo…he is so sweet and fuuunny! “ Nina said laughin.

“He work at the Fantasy Factory?….Like Rob Dyrdek…MTV Fantasy Factory!” I said in shock.

“Yea girl…He been on the show for a minute…Him and Rob are friends.” Xena filled me in.

DAMN!

I was in shock cause I loved that show…never missed an episode…and then it hit me! THAT’S WHY HE LOOKED SO FAMILIAR!

“Oh My God…I knew I seen him some where before!” I said as I looked and saw a crowd comin into the VIP.

“Yes girl…I could tell he was feelin you…Wait.” She said textin on her phone.

I waited as I watched the crowd come closer…and that’s when I saw Mijo. WELP! Guess Chris’s is finally here. I grabbed my pocketbook and pulled my phone out so I could text him and that’s when I saw the 3 texts. I checked them:

B: Gotta tell you something.

I was confused so I check the next one.

B: HELLO!

I looked up as the crowd moved closer but I guess he was blocked by Los and Pat cause I couldn’t see him yet. So I checked the last text.

MIJO: Don’t trip but Chris bringin a bitch. Can’t say I didn’t tell you!

WHAAAAT???

I was about to put my phone back when Xena stopped me.

“Ok here girl…I’mma text you his number.” Xena said sendin the text to me.

“O-Ok..” I said distracted cause I was tryin to see who Chris was with.

I waited for Xena’s text when I got another two. DAMN! I checked the first one:

B: Where you at?

I was about to answer when Xena’s text came in…I saved the number and then checked the second text:

TEY: Girl! Chris brought his lil friend. Don’t get mad. Just letting you know.

WHO THE IS THIS BITCH???

I was now irritated…Cause I wanted to know WHO THIS FRIEND WAS? I mean I KNEW about most of his lil stragler bitch’s so I wanted to see this Bitch for myself!

AND WHY EVERYBODY THINK I’M GONNA TRIP!

“Ok you got it?” Xena said as she looked over at Chris crowd.

“Yea I saved it…Look everybody keep tellin me Chris here with some chick.” I said tyin to see through the crowd.

“What?” Xena said lookin at me irritated.

“Yea…Mijo and Tey just text me tellin me not to trip.”

“It betta not be Draya’s ass cause I told her to leave it alone.” Xena said shakin her head.

See Xena was in the middle when it came to me and Draya….Draya was her friend first and when Draya got with Chris…Xena cussed her out and told her she was DEAD ASS WRONG cause she knew me and Chris’s history and I was supposed to be her friend. I told Xena I was over it…Xena was still cool with Draya but not like they were cause of a situation with her ex that was well…stil not fully resolved. GO FIGURE!

“Let’s go see!” Xena said.

“See you tryin to get her into trouble.” Nina said shakin her head.

“No I’m not…I mean they are still bestfriends…Its only right she meet the new girl of the hour!” Xena said laughin.

Damn…

“I wouldn’t want to…Plus she should be callin Steelo…He’s a good guy…See what that’s about…Let you and Chris be…No sense in diggin up the obviously broke past…He need to grow up!” Nina said puttin her drink down.

WHOA!

Now that caught me offguard cause Nina had always pulled for me and Chris…Guess she felt that he couldn’t be serious right now and was tired of seein me hurt behind him. I couldn’t even fault her.

“Wow! Nina…It’s like dat?”

We all looked up and there was Chris lookin at us with his hand on his heart. Damn…

HOW LONG HE BEEN STANDIN THERE????

“Uh…Uh..” Was all Nina could say blushin.

“It’s cool…I got you…A nigga do need to grow up…” Chris said finally standin next to me.

Damn…

“I just meant…You need to make up your mind is all.” Nina clarified.

“I got you…But a nigga know what he want…Just SOMEBODY don’t want that shit right now…So.” He said as he pointed down at me.

PSSSH! WHATEVER!

“Whatever B…So when am I gonna meet you NEW girlfriend?” I fired at him.

He looked down at me in shock. WHAT YOU THINK I WASN’T GONNA FIND OUT?

“Well you can meet her and she NOT my girlfriend…She just a friend…Showin her a good time.” He said makin a face at me.

MMM HMM

“Well we know all about yo good times….She’ll be butt ass naked by mornin!” Xena said laughin and rollin her eyes.

“Ch…Xena why you always talkin shit to me? I aint never did shit to you?” He said soundin crushed.

“NIgga don’t act like I don’t know ALL sides to these stories…But I let you slide cause you my boo’s love.” She said bumpin me.

“Man…See you act like I’m some dog.” He said lookin down at our empty glasses.

WELL….

“Pssh…Prove to me you aint and I wont say shit!” Xena fired back.

“Oh…I will when ya BOO let me.” He said lookin at me again.

WHAT THE FUCK EVER!!

“Hmmm…Well here is your first test cause here come ya FRIEND!” Xena said noddin to Tey walkin over with a girl behind her.

I was blown the fuck away! I looked up at this tall…Fair skinned…Blonde curly haired…Blue eyed…Model esque…ROBYN LOOK- A -LIKE! I swear my mouth dropped! She was stunning! But she also looked familiar…Not because of the OBVIOUS ROBYN FEATURES! But it was like I knew her from somewhere or someone. When she smiled over at him I could see she was feelin him MORE THAN FRIENDS! It took me a second to stop starin so hard…But all I kept thinkin was REALLY CHRIS? SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ROB!

“Hey Bro!” Tey said nervously “Heeeey Sis!”

“Hey Tey” I said givin her a hug and still lookin at the girl.

“Hey what up ya’ll.” Chris said camly.

I was an awkward silence with Nina and Xena after the both said hi to Tey. We all looked over at Chris and waited for him to introduce HER!

“So what ya’ll drinkin on…Come over to our area so I can refill them glasses!” He said bein silly.

UH…..

“Shit if you got me…I’m there!” Xena said grabbin my hand.

“You know I do…Bout to pop them bottles!” He said tryin to read me.

I was still shook…But I was readin the girl. She seemed young and I could also see her whole personality change as Chris put his arms around Me and Xena’s shoulders and walked us over to his area.

UH OH!

Once we got over there he made sure to hand us all drinks except HER. I was a little curious about that but I didn’t say anythin. I watched as she mostly talked to Tey or stood quietly by Chris who was mostly talkin to Me, Nina, Xena, Mijo, Keeis and Twon. I was confused! Every now and then they would whisper back and forth but Chris didn’t show too much emotion…Just nodded his head and went back to dancin or talkin to whoever. WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN ON? After about an hour I was feelin it…And decided that well she must NOT be a threat so I paid her no mind. I mean what was I supposed to do? Say HEEEY GIRL LET’S BE FRIENDS! Uh Hell No! Who was I to say I was ever gonna see her ass AGAIN!

“So you done avoidin me?” Chris said in to my ear.

“Avoidin you?” I said leanin in cause the music was loud.

“Yea…Yo ass bein runnin track away from me!” He said obviously tipsy acause he put his arm around my waist.

UH NIGGA! BACK UP!

 “I have not…And you occupied anyway…” I said sippin some more.

“Pssh…I told you she’s just a friend…Plus im always available for you.” He said brushin he lips against my ear.

SEE! Damn…

“You alwa-“

“Chris can we go?” I heard HER say interruptin me in a way I had heard before.

I heard him sigh into my ear and then look over at her. She had the most irritated face and was turnin bright ass red!

 WELP!

“We ain’t even been here long.” Chris said obviously irritated by her interruption.

“Well I got to get up early for my shoot…You said we were gonna go spend time alone.” She said then lookin over at me.

BITCH WHAT?

“Damn Jasmine…We are but everybody havin a good time…Shit just now gettin poppin!” He said doin a dance.

JASMINE…

It took me a minute…But then I realized I recognized that name! She was the girl that text him the night he called it off with me! WOOOOW! I didn’t get upset…Cause well even in person she still seemed harmless to me. She looked at him and was not amused. She then turned to Tey and said somethin to her in her ear and I saw Tey look irriatated too.

“Aye ya’ll we bout to roll.” Tey said to us.

“So you gonna leave.” Chris said to Jasmine dryly.

“Yea…I told you I got work in the mornin…I ain’t got time for partyin.” She said matter of factly to him.

DAMN!

“Aight…Cool I’ll holla at you.” Chris said unphased.

WOW!

“You do that.” She snapped back.

“Aight…I’ll get up with you tomorrow Tey.” He said ignorin Jasmine’s now OBVIOUS attitude.

“Aight Bro…Bye Sis…Bye Ya’ll” Tey said walkin out of our area with Jasmine followin.

HMMMM.

I looked over at Chris who had began dancin to the music as he sipped some more of his drink. HE WAS REALLY NOT FAZED! I laughed to myself a little cause he was definitely cold with it…But hey he said she was just a friend so I guess she was just that. After another hour I had chilled out on the drinkin cause if I didn’t my CELEBACY was gonna go out of the window! Especially the way Chris was now all over me…All the touchin and grindin…Mixed with the liq and occasional neck kisses was sendin my hormones OVER THE EDGE! I had to keep my composure…My strength…It was my only line of defense against this SEXY DRUNK MUTHAFUCKA!

“Sweeets come hoome with mee.” He moaned in my ear as her held me from behind.

STOP THAT!

“B…You drunk…Uh Uh.” I said tryin to leave space between my ass and MONSTA!

“SSSS…So…Let me in.” He moaned lightly lickin my ear and pressin me up against MONSTA!

SHIIIIIIIIT!

Before I could answer NO BULLSHIT started playin! FUUUUUUUCK! This shit is just not fair….Somebody hates me! He began grindin up against my ass and well this was my DAMN SONG and I got into it! And he was DEFINITELY ENJOYIN IT! MONSTA was so rock hard HE coulda ripped his damn pants! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN HELENA??? I screamed at myself but the liq had me and I just kept dancin.

“When ya leavin the cluuub…I want you to come over girl” He sang into my ear.

FUCK!

I swear my whole body was on fire! Just one more time…It won’t hurt anythin…Right? He had me WET! I couldn’t hold out no more…and well I HATED HIM FOR IT! He knew just what to do to get me THERE…and well

“No…B…I gotta go.”

He was gonna earn this shit…

“Lovin you so crazy…I’mma make you have a flashback to ya first time…Cause this time you know just what you like.”

(Chris POV)

 

Ouch!…Ugggggh…. I woke up to my fuckin head poundin like shit…And my stomach DID NOT FEEL ANY BETTA! What the fuck? I sat up in my bed slowly cause well the room started to spin and I felt like I was still drunk as hell. I looked around and there were three girls in the bed with me…and if my face didn’t hurt I would have smiled. But all I wanted to do was get to the toilet cause somethin was definitely COMIN BACK UP!

Uggggh!

When I came out the bathroom I stumbled back to the bed. Last night was crazy as hell…Most of it was a fuckin blur but I did remember breakin up with Draya… and Sweets leavin without even a goodbye…I knew it got a little much but she at least coulda stayed til it was over! I mean even though I wish I could remember this obvious foursome I had…I woulda rathered it been…her. I finally pulled on me some boxer and basketball shorts… Once I could focus I practically slid down the wall to the livin room. DAMN! The house was a FUCKIN MESS! There was shit everywhere….Nakedness everywhere…And that smell…WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL!! Ugggggh! I knew I needed to eat somethin but gettin to the kitchen was a task cause I was still tryin to get my balance. FUCK! I stood on the wall with my eyes closed and head back…I’m not sure if I dosed off but I popped my eyes open to Sweets pokin me and laughin so hard.

Leeeave mmmee allooonnne!

“Was your ass sleep?” She said laughin so hard she was in tears.

“Iont evnn…shiiit…WHOA!” I said fallin over.

 DAMN!

“OH MY GOD B!” She said tryin to grab a hold of me but I busted my ass anyway.

“Thiiis…shiit …Whattt is…Dammn” I said puttin my head in my hands.

THIS SHIT IS WILD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? DAMN! Was what I was tryin to say but of course it was NOT comin out. I could hear Sweets laughin even harder. I admit if I didn’t feel like I was bout to THROW UP on her shoes…I would be laughin right along with her! This had to be the fuckin funniest shit right now…I CAN’T FEEL MY DAMN FACE!

“I knew you was gonna be gone B…But you aint makin no sense!” Sweets said tryin to help me stand up.

WHO YOU TELLIN!

“Maaannn…I’mm stiill fuuuckked up.” I finally got out. “SWEETS!”

“What?” She said movin her head away from mine.

 STANK BREATH.

“I fuckkin llooove youuu giiiiiiiirrlll.” I tried to sing.

 NO NIGGA…JUST STOP!

“I love you too…Now your gonna have to help me…Stand up!” She said tryin to lift me up.

“Sweeeeets…Whyy you soo daammn beauty.”

NIGGA WHAT?

“B…That didn’t even.…Just get up dammit!” She said shakin her head and laughin hard again.

I’m fuckin embarassin myself…Shit.

“Aight womannn!” I said pushin up off the floor.

WHOOOA!

I finally stood up and we stumble to my kitchen bar stool. I sat down and immediately laid my head on the counter.

I AINT EVER DRINKIN AGAIN!!

“B you gotta eat somethin…And you don’t got shit in here.” I heard her say goin through the cabinets.

HUNGRY ASS NIGGAS!

“I kn…Iknooww.” I said probably droolin.

 DAMN DAMN DAMN!                                                                                                                    

“Guess out to eat it is…What do you feel like?” She asked.

FOOD!!!

“I don’ttt caarrre….I’MMM JUST FUCKIN HUNGRY!”

NIGGA WHY YOU YELLIN?

“Ok…Ok…Well you not goin like that…You got to get dressed.” She said laughin at me again.

WHAT???? I’M NOT GOIN BACK UP THEM STAIRS!

“I cann’t…Sweeets could you pleeeease gettt my black shhirt…annnd my black and………”

DAMN…. I THINK I DOSED OFF!

 

After I finally woke up…Yea a nigga was knocked right on the counter…drool and all! My head, face, body, eyes, skin and even my damn eyelashes HURT! I swore I was gonna fuck Keeis up!! He was passin me drink after drink….And my dumbass kept takin ‘em. NEVER AGAIN! I sat across from Sweets as she was eatin her food. I swear every sound in the damn restaurant was AMPLIFIED! All I could eat was a few bites of my French toast and eggs. What I did know was my shades needed to be darker causes it felt like it was bright as fuck in here…SHIT! She didn’t say much just giggled every now and then at me. THIS WAS NOT FUNNY! I sipped on my orange juice a little and just admired her. I was actually happy she came back to make sure I was ok tho…

“You need to eat some more… At least the French toast…Soak up that liq.” She said lovingly.

Man I missed this…

“I am …I just feel it all up in my throat…uggh!” I said rubbin my stomach.

“You should’ve known not to trust Keeis’s ass…I know I learned my lesson.” She said laughin lightly.

IMMA FUCK HIM UP ON MY LIFE!

“Man…Never again…But hey I’m 21!” I said smilin. Ouch.

“Yes you are! Look at you all fully legal and shit!” She said pushin her plate back.

“I’mma grown ass man round here!” I said feelin my phone vibrate. DRAYA.

NO. I MEANT THAT SHIT!

I knew she just wanted to see if I called it off cause I was fucked up…But no…The liq just made me say what I was gonna say anyway….IT’S OVER!! I was tired of it all…I mean how you gonna act stank through my whole birthday party…Practically ignore me cause you got an attitude…FOR WHAT? I DON’T KNOW! Then see somebody else just dancin in front of me and wanna assert your “Girlfriend” authority! FUCK ON WITH THAT SHIT! Last straw! The games…The naggin…The business tellin…The lies…The arguin for the last 9 months had added up and guess what?…SHE LOST! NOW GO POST THAT SHIT ON TWITTER!

MOVIN ON

“I gotta go back to VA in an hour.” I said puttin my phone back in my pocket.

“Oh..” She said soundin disappointed.

HMMMM.

“Yea…Got some community service to knock out and my classes…Was gonna check on the kids too…Uh…Maybe you…should come…Know you aint seen them in awhile.” I hesitated.

“Yea it has been a minute…Been to the other studios…Was gonna go next month but I know they would love to see me earlier!” She said perkin up.

GOOD!

“Well then…Pack ya bags woman…I’ll get ya ticket!” I said grabbin my phone.

“B…I’m not gonna be ready in an hour!” She said wrinklin her nose.

STILL LOVE THAT!

 “What do you need to pack? Just grab ya girlie stuff and I’ll get you some shit when we get there!” I said callin Tina.

“B…I don’t need you to get me nothin…I can get it m-“

“Hol’up.…Aye Tina could you add another seat to my flight…I need it like Asap.” I said interruptin her “INDEPENDENT WOMAN” speech!

“You…Ugggh!” I heard her mumble and cross her arms.

IT’S DONE! HA!

“Aight…Call me back with the information…Aight.” I said hangin up.

“If we wasn’t in public…I would pop you upside that lightbright head of yours!” She huffed.

HAHAHA!

“Well we are…And you can’t…So deal!” I said stickin my tongue out at her. “Now let’s go…We got shit to do!”

“I’m comin.” She said puttin her Black card in the ticket for the waiter.

WHAT YOU DOIN?

She was determined to pay for somethin…Damn are we gonna start this shit already? I know you BALLIN too but hey…I’m the man here…Makin me look like I can’t pay for a $25 check! COM’ON SON! I grabbed the check as the waiter walked up and took her card out. I put a 50 in as she smacked her lips.

 IT’S DONE…AGAIN! HA!

“Why you…Ugggh!” She said pickin up her card.

“Keep the change…Now let’s go!” I said to the waiter then to her and laughin.

“Pssh.” Was all she said as she walked to the door.

LOVE WALKIN BEHIND HER…DAAAMN!

“Well since you paid you can open the door for me.” She fired.

SHE REALLY MAD! HAHA!

“Nah…Imma let you do that!” I said laughin as I dodged her tryin to hit my arm.

“Ugggh…I hate you!” She said openin the door.

“I love yo ass too.” I said walkin out.

Got my bestfriend back….

VA

We had been back home for a week…I knocked out my classes…Community service and visted the Dance 1 kids. So now I was gettin ready for FAN OF A FAN to drop. Tyga and Trell flew out so I was EXCITED! Tyga decided to Ustream for Team Tyga and TEAM BREEZY so we were all gonna download it together. Keeis, Twon, Mijo and Aaron invited some girls over so we were gonna have a mini release party…Well it wasn’t much of a party but it was for TEAM BREEZY so that’s all that matter! Sweets hadn’t heard the finish product yet so I was hella nervous…I knew some of the songs were about her and I didn’t quite know how she was gonna react. She had spent most of the day in my studio workin on some demo tracks she had to finsh for Keri. So I helped her out with them. I loved it…Her writin skills had got so good that she had started to make the songs off the top of her head instead of writin ‘em down. I TAUGHT HER THAT! HA! So we was able to knock out 5 songs in one day! We also worked on a demo called ONE NIGHT STAND…It was sexy as hell…Real 90’s vibe. She called Keri and we sang it to her over the phone and all you could hear was her scream! GUESS SHE LOVED IT! I admit the words did somethin to me cause I definitely wanted Sweets to spend another night with me….but I could tell she was tryin to keep everythin platonic so I didn’t say anythin. I aint gonna front THIS SHIT WAS GETTIN HARD!

After the Ustream and everybody on there thinkin I was drunk cause I was bein hyper and loud…They called it a night cause they was tired as fuck! I coulda went on for another hour cause I was HYPE! Really didn’t know why…Maybe it was cause of not havin to deal with Draya…Oh she text me while I was on the Ustream tellin me to call her…But NO! Or Maybe havin Sweets back around who had givin up and went to bed on me. Either way I was feelin good!I went to my den and played on the game for a while but truthfully I wasn’t feelin it….I kept tryin to distract myself but all I could think about was goin to Sweets room. NO! SHE AINT HAVIN IT! So I was frustrated as fuck….I went to my room and tried drawin…DIDN’T HELP. Got on twitter and lurked around…DIDN’T HELP…Cause them DM’S…MAN SOME OF MY FOLLOWERS ARE NASTY! HAHA! I finally said fuck it and decided to got to sleep….I was about to dose off when I heard a soft knock on my door…

SHE CAME

“YEA!” I yelled out.

“Were you sleep?” She said slowly openin the door.

“Nah…Was bout to…What’s up?” I asked tryin to see her in the dim light.

“Oh…I couldn’t sleep.” She said still standin behind the door.

WHY DON’T YOU JUST COME IN??

“Well I’m up…come in.” I said confused.

“Oh…No I was wonderin if you wanted to watch a movie or somethin…You know just til I got tired.” She said shyly.

OKAY…

“I do have a TV….You can watch it in here.” I said tryin to understand.

“I know…I know…I just wanted to watch it in the den.” She said.

WHAT?

“In the den.” I said dryly.

“Yea.” She said

WOW!

“Ok.” I said gettin up reluctantly.

What is up with her? I mean I get tryin to be platonic and shit but it was like she didn’t want to be behind closed doors with me at all! Like I was some serial killer waitin to attack her! I mean DAMN! IT’S ME! When we got to the den…It was hard not to stare shit she had on a tank with no bra and these lil ass boy shorts….I MEAN COME ON!!! You don’t wanna do nothin but you gonna rock the DAMN BOY SHORTS I LIKE!!! Just ass everywhere…DAMN! I had to pretend I was sleepy so I wouldn’t have to look at her…I kept rubbin my eyes while she walked over to my DVD shelf.

“So what you wanna watch?” She asked turnin to me.

YOU!

“Iont care…” I said tryin to distract myself.

“Ok that helps!” She said sarcastically.

YOU WANTED TO WATCH A DAMN MOVIE!

“I don’t care just pick anythin woman!” I said grabbin my phone.

“Ok…Um…How bout Parnormal Activity…that was our movie!” She said getting excited and puttin it in.

That was our movie! We would watch it on the bus over and over…Shit never got old! Plus I liked it cause she scared as hell of horror movies but she would watch’em anyway and well that was my excuse to feel on her cause she would be all up on a nigga! HA!

PERFECT!

“Aight cool!” I said answerin a text: JASMINE.

“The mixtape is dope!” She said floppin down on the couch next to me.

“You feelin it huh…Yea that shit bang!” I said perkin up and put my phone in my pocket.

“Hell yeah…I like that uh…Like A Virgin…That’s my new shit!” She said cheesin hard and takin her bun down.

AW YEAH!

“Let it rain…Let it rain…Let it rain…Cause it’s gettin hot girl…Give me all you got girl…Don’t rush aint goin nowhere…I’mma take off ya thong put legs in the air…” I sang to her.

“Yeeeaah…Girl I’mma gonna pick you up…Pick you up…Rock you like a baaby…Lovin you so craazy…I’mma make you have a flashback to ya first tiiime…Cause this time you know just what you like..” She sang back gettin hype!

OH SHIT! LOVE HER VOICE!

“Daaamn you know the words already?” I said happy as hell!

“Hell Yeah! I was like Oh My God! Ya’ll did that!” She said laughin.

I just love her man…

“Preciate it…Preciate it!” I said smilin.

“Yeah and that No Bullshit been my song…Can’t wait for the video…I already got some ideas in my head for that! It’s gonna be hooooot!” She said gigglin.

“Aw yeah…I wanted you to be the lead.” I said throwin it out there.

PLEEEASE!!

“Iont know bout all that B…” She said getting nervous.

“Why not?…I mean come ooon…How long I been askin you to be in my videos?” I pleaded. JUST SAY YES DAMMIT!

“I just think it would be awkward…I mean especially with that type of song…I heard about the storyboards you and Colin came up with…Mm Mm…We’d end up fuckin for real!” She said laughin.

I DON’T SEE A PROBLEM WITH THAT!

“So! You actin like we aint never done that shit before.” I said makin a face at her.

“B!” She said hittin me in the arm.

“What? It’s true!” I said laughin.

“That shit got erased and that was that!” She said lookin at me in shock.

Well……

“Um…yea..yea..” I said laughin to myself.

“What’s so funny? B….I swear to God!” She said lookin terrified.

“Whaat? I erased em….” I said lookin off.

“IMMA FUCK YOU UP!” She said punchin me in the side. OUCH!

HAHAHA!

“Ow Woman! I erased em….The first three…But them last two…Uh Uh that’s stayin in my fault!” I said laughin and jumpin up.

“CHRIS!” She said takin off after me.

Hahaha! Ok look…I wasn’t worried bout them ever gettin out… Cause I don’t play bout my personal shit….So yea I really had the last two on a flashdrive locked up! SO NO AINT NOBODY SEEIN THAT SHIT BUT ME! HA! I mean they were toooo good to erase! She was goin HAM ON A NIGGA!! I had to hold on to that! Not like she was gonna let me get that anytime soon! HA!

“THEY IN SAFE KEEPIN I SWEAR!” I said laughin and runnin down the hall to my room.

“YOU TOLD ME YOU ERASED EM…YOU LIED!” She said right behind me.

“I DIDN’T LIE…I DID ERASE EM…JUST NOT ALL OF EM!” I said laughin so hard I tripped turnin to duck in my room. DAMN!

She tackled me and started punchin me in the chest and arms! OUCH! I knew I could just toss her but it was FUNNY AS HELL! So I just let her as I laughed.

“CHRIS…YOU BETTA GET RID OF THEM…I’M NOT PLAYIN!” She said as she finally straddled me.

MMMM.

“Ow…I…Ouch…Ok…Ok!” I said still laughin at her as she turned red. HAHA!

 “JERK!” She said finally stoppin and pushin her hair back from her face.

“I know!” I said laughin again.

“Ugggh…Chris you make me sick!” She said slappin my arm again.

HMMMM.

“Aww…So I’m Chris again?” I said raising my eyebrow.

“Boy…Whateva!” She said startin to get up.

UH UH

“Where you goin?” I said pickin her up so fast she had to hold on!

“CHRIS!” She said wrappin her arms around my neck. “DON’T YOU DROP ME!”

“I aint gonna drop you.” I said in her ear and walkin over to the bed.

GOTCHA!

Ok so…I couldn’t take it no more…She had me so turned on when she was straddlin me I had to go for it! Just the thoughts from earlier…The mental picture from them tapes and these DAMN BOY SHORTS! HE WANTED IN!!!

I missed her…

“What you doin?” She said as I flopped her on my bed.

“Gonna put yo ass to sleep.” I said kissin her neck and smilin.

“St- Stop…It..” She said breathin heavy.

“You sure…” I said suckin on it lightly.

“Uuuh…Ye-ye-“

I stopped her as I kissed her lightly on the lips…I felt her shiver so I kissed her deeper. Man I wanted her so bad…I couldn’t let her think! I slid my hands under her tank and she moaned in my mouth. Her body was shakin so much I almost had to laugh to myself. I almost had her tank up over head when…

“Nigga you seen my charger?” We heard Mijo say comin in the door. “WHOA!”

DAMMIT MAN!

“HELL NAW NIGGA DAMN!” I said lookin at him as Sweets pulled her tank back down.

“Oh my god…” Sweets said totally embarrassed.

“Now this is the shit I never wanted to see…Remind me to yell out from the hallway next time!  Mijo said shakin his head in disgust.

HEY! THIS MY HOUSE!

“NIGGA GET OUT!” I said lookin at him like HELLO!!

“Nigga I am…Think im gonna be blind and shit!” he said finally laughin as he walked out closing the door behind him.

SHIT!

“B…Move.” Sweets finally said tryin to push me up.

NOOOO!

“What? He gone tho…” I pleaded.

“I don’t care…Just move.” She said firmly.

THIS IS NOT HAPPENIN!

“Sweets for real…Come on…I Really Really want you.” I begged and looked down at HER MONSTA.

“No…Just get up…We aint doin this.” She said tryin to scoot away.

“But-“

“No!” She said interruptin me lookin me dead in the eyes.

DAMN! SHE SERIOUS!

I looked at her for a few more seconds and finally got up. FUUUUCK! I saw her eyes drop to HER MONSTA and it frustrated and irritated me MORE! YOU KNOW YOU WANT THIS QUIT PLAYIN!!!

“Goodnight..” Was all she said scootin off my bed and walkin out the room.

I stood there in pure shock…It’s like she had this will power that came outta nowhere! I sat on the bed frustrated as hell! IT’S ME DAMMIT! WE BOTH SINGLE! WHAT’S THE PROBLEM???? After a few minutes of bein ticked off…I laughed to myself…WAS I JUST BEGGIN??? I shook my head and climbed under the covers…I had to admit to myself…This was definitely a good thing…Cause now I was gonna do everythin in my power to win her over again…

Game on.

I aint lettin go…